So I'm a bad guy.

You do care. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have started this thread. You don't sound like a "bad guy", just like a guy who's frustrated with life and disappointed in people. In any case, there aren't just "good people" and "bad people". All of us have bad days and take it out on others sometimes (some of us more often than others), but if you have developed a habit of being grumpy, maybe it's time to start thinking about the reasons and the extent to which you can change your conditions (different job? chances to meet new people? starting a new freetime activity?).

I agree with RainMan that it becomes easier to treat people well when you feel more or less satisfied yourself, but I would also add a "with yourself" to it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your continuous assurances that you know you are a prick are a way of protecting yourself against hurtful comments here, which is understandable, but you're only putting yourself down, and that doesn't make you any more friendly towards others.

There is no way that you are simply "a bad person".

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by RainMan

One thing I know is that negative thought spawns negative thought patterns. I definitely didn't try to say it's okay to be a dick, but I also realize how difficult it can be to motivate oneself when negative thought patterns cycle again and again. It becomes a sort of endless chasm that becomes utterly difficult to climb out of.
[...]
Calling someone an asshole and leaving it at that isn't very helpful and will unlikely provide proper motivation for change in someone who has been mistreated for a given amount of time.

Exactly the point. I wasn't saying that it's okay to be mean to people, but how would calling him an asshole help? If he brands himself "bad", he loses the motivation to improve, because hey, he's a bad guy, anyway. If he feels bad about himself, he is more likely to treat others badly.

Likewise, thinking that you're sociopath (very strong word there) doesn't make you less of a sociopath. But the thing is that he said he doesn't care enough, when in my opinion, his post showed that he does care a lot. The two things stood in contradiction.

Finally, I think it's great that you guys can judge him so moralistically and call him a dick, especially when you're being so nice yourselves. It's wonderful to know that perfect people exist out there.

And no, thank you, I don't really feel a burning desire to "grow some balls". Their obsession with genitalia is one thing I don't understand about men.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yes, if he was a mean person to begin with, then at that point, he's still a mean person (although I hate putting people into categories like that). But to me -and I understand why you could see this differently- he didn't sound like an overall "bad guy", just a guy who was frustrated and took it out on others. That isn't right, but like you said, realising the problem is the first step towards change. (Realising THE PROBLEM. Not just saying "I'm a bad guy", hating yourself and being done with it.)

Like other posters have said before, I'd take it one step at a time. The next time someone smiles at you, try to smile back. If it doesn't work well right away, or if it still feels fake, don't beat yourself up about it. At least you tried, and if you keep working on it, it will come more naturally to you. Breaking a pattern is hard.

But I don't think it's done with that, I'd also look at the underlying circumstances, at what frustrates him so much. A change might be good, and another way to let off some steam (sports, music, etc.). Being nice comes more easily to you when you're doing okay yourself.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well, we can't really psychoanalyse you here, but it sounds like you've got a pretty good idea about the causes yourself. It could be a number of things, and it's probably a combination of everything that bugs you - transferring unis, academic pressure, loneliness, disappointment from the former friend, annoyance with yourself for being a jerk towards him. That sounds like enough to make you grumpy.

Now the question is to what extent you can change some of these things, or take a break from some of them, and what other outlet you could find for your frustration. I never got the whole "just find a friend" thing either when I was in high school (you can't just buy them at the local groceries store), but it becomes easier when you take some of the pressure off. Not everybody you meet has to become your best friend right away. You don't HAVE TO find one. Just try to look around in your classes a bit more openly, talk to people before/after class (about class, about where they're from and what they're doing, etc.). Maybe, if you have the time, joining one club or society might be a good idea as well. Getting involved in something always helps with meeting new people. Getting involved in something you don't give a damn about, on the other hand, could just annoy you even more.

There's no recipe for how to be a nice or well-liked person, you've got to find your own way. You don't have to be a ray of sunshine all the time, and if you're not that friendly with strangers, you're just not that friendly. Still, I'd encourage you to try a bit, to at least smile back every once in a while. It will get easier if you practice. And if not - I don't think the little kids have suffered any damage from it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?