Living with Parents

People live with their parents for a variety of reasons (for example financial); this doesn't make them "slackers". It's their life, and none of my business.

I've been living in a different country from my mother since I graduated from high school in 2006, and I have to admit that I do feel guilty about it, because she needs me, not physically, but emotionally. I'm fine with living on my own, although there are days when I miss Germany a lot, and I have etablished a life for myself here for now. That's what keeps me here, that and the fact that my mother and I need some distance to get along well. And still, I will go back to Germany after I get my Bachelor's degree here and move a lot closer to her, because I can't keep doing this to her. So my reason wouldn't be that I want her to do my washing, but that I'm worried about her and want to be there for her during the time she has left on this planet, and who knows how much that is?

I think we should be careful before judging people so quickly. I quite honestly admire people who live with a parent/their parents and take care of them (not so much if it's the other way around), because I know how difficult it can be. It's called making sacrifices, and is not very common in our culture anymore, since parents are viewed as having an obligation to love and give unconditionally, but never receive.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Like I said, people forget that sometimes, it's an inverse care relationship, with your parents needing YOU.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I still can't see anything wrong about living with your parents, as long as you don't behave like a kid and pull your own weight, that means pay rent, contribute to food costs, etc., cook, take care of things around the house, take care of your own stuff, and so forth.

As long as you're not a passive recipient, but also an active giver, I don't see a problem with it, although I do think you are missing out on some experiences of independence if you never move out.

But again, it depends on the situation your family is in (financially and otherwise), and once and for all, there may be situations where it is required for someone to take care of your parents (e.g. for health reasons), and in that case, I think it is a good thing if you move in with them. It's extremely hard to see your parents' health (physical and mental) deteriorate, and being unable to do a thing about it, and taking care of them day after day. It hurts, and it certainly has nothing to do with "being a slacker".

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Maybe independence isn't the right word, but yes, your dependence does get transferred, and this gives you experience. I'm not saying you can't have life experience if you live with your parents, but I, personally, am happy that I moved out, because I couldn't deal with the dependence my mum has on me anymore, and because I enjoy not being so dependent on her, either.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I think a lot of it simply depends on the relationship you've got with your parent(s). Do they depend on you, or do you depend on them? Is it mutual dependency? How heavy is this dependency? Do you get along well? Do you have similar values and expectations? Are you good at communicating? Are you very aloof and distant from one another, and does this result in you getting the space you need, or more conflicts? How much do your parents respect your "adulthood", and how much do you still respect them? ....

I was speaking idiomatically.