Abusive Relationships

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People stay in these relationships, not really because they want a boyfriend, but because they have low self esteem. They don't feel like they can find someone better, or they make excuses up for the abuser and then tell themselves it's probably their own fault for making them angry. This is bullshit, but that's how people with low self esteem see situations. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, and some need help getting out. My coworker's been in an abusive marriage for several months but I'm so proud of her for getting the courage to move out. Now the guy's hospitalized so he can't hurt himself or anyone else. But if she didn't leave, he would have kept on drinking and kept on abusing her.

I agree some girls that i know of think their to ugly to get someone better. but if you would see them and see the guy you can obiuosly tell she can do better.

Also i have a quetion i have a friend of mines which is in a relationship with this girl who likes to play "rough".e.x she kicks him in the shins pulls his hair punches him in the arm and bites him and not the good way. Well anyways i could tell he get's mad sometimes but i can't understand why he stays? so my question is is play fighting abuse??

I personally think it's childlish and stupid i told him to that i would'nt stand going out with her for an hour.

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You seem to be using yourself as the standard by which you measure everyone else. You're not wrong, but not everyone is like you.

sometimes that's what i think is wrong with the world when people are to stupid to leave a mental abuse. I understand physical more than mental some people are afraid to get hurt. while in mental how are you going to get hurt with words

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by ava lilly

when you love someone, their opinion means a lot to you. if you're not totally self aware and don't have the highest confidence in the world, getting shot down repeatedly will take its toll eventually.

honestly, how many of you have had something mean or hurtful said to you by someone you care about and it DIDN'T bother you in some way? imagine that happening all the time. sure it sounds easy to walk away from, but if you've somehow gotten yourself into a situation where you're constantly getting backhanded remarks, your self-esteem is going to waver and at some point you may even begin to accept the things that are being said.

that's why people stay in relationships like that. they believe what is being said and their "love" for this person clouds any capacity for logic they may have.

it's always easier to look in from the outside and say why the hell are you still with this person, but you're not the one with the emotional attachment to them. you see this all the time, like with the girl who is in a dead end relationship but refuses to break up her boyfriend because "oh but sometimes things are just fine!" and she'll make excuses to stay hoping that the "fine" days will come back despite being unhappy. it always sounds really stupid and why-are-you-doing-this-to-yourself, but in their mind it makes sense.

that's how it works with abusive relationships too, I would assume. they didn't start out abusive, it just became that way over time and the victims stay because sometimes things are just fine. mental and physical abuse go hand in hand, physical abuse just pertains to the beating, but instilling the fear in someone is mental abuse.

Well when you put it like that i guess it seems more understandable. I personally had a girl i used to go out with where as soon as she started pulling on my hair and she thought it was funny i talked to her and told her if she did something like that again i would leave her. I guess the problem is people don't take on the problems as soon as they arise, therefore making it worse.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.