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So I had this friend I used to be with a lot about 5-6 years ago. We had a blast together really, doing all sorts of immature stuff and pulling bad jokes on each other as the kids we were. However, his dad I never really got along with, because somehow he ALWAYS had to walk in with us doing some stupid stuff and then he'd misunderstand everything. It's not like he ever got mad at us or something, he just always gave us this weird look and didn't know what to say so being all quiet he just walked away and tried to pretend he didn't see anything. He was a real big homophobe and he always managed to come into the middle of one of our many immature sex jokes. Like once me and my friend were fooling around like usual and we were having a competition on who could make the best and most hilarious sex moans/talk. We were sitting in the middle of the hall upstairs on a big pillow just moaning and doing some dirty talk. Then suddenly, the door opened from his fathers and mothers bedroom. Well, you could probably guess who it was. He just gave us this look as he always did and went down the stairs. The thing is I believe many times he actually thought we were "fooling around" for real. It's hilarious when you think back on some of the misunderstandings like that one (one of many I tell you), but there is one that freaked the shit out of me.

So me and my friend were watching TV at his home all alone and suddenly my friend jumped up from the sofa and went out of the living room and I heard him going down the stairs into the basement. Me still sitting in the living room thought he'd just gone to the toilet or something, so I thought while he was fulfilling his needs I'd come up with a joke or something. Then I saw the the small bust of Mozart that his father absolutely adored standing up on the grand piano. I got an idea, maybe I should trick my friend that I was trying to steal the bust and putting it into my pocket. A weird joke, I know.

So I prepared the act by standing by the grand piano looking towards the closed door to the basement, having the bust in my hand and with the head of the little bust sticking down my pocket so that I could proceed with faking to steal it right away when he came upstairs and opened the door.

I heard him coming up the steps. Slowly he ascended the steps and my adrenaline was running high. I was gonna fool him so bad. So he was getting to the last steps of the stairs and I was ready to start with the act.

Then I heard someone shouting from upstairs.

"Hey dude, what the fuck are you waiting for? Come up already!"

"Hey... Didn't my buddy just go downstairs? If not, then who is walking up the stairs right now?" In the small frame of time this all happened I started to sense something was terribly, terribly wrong.

OH SHI-

So the door was opening and I had the fucking bust half down my pocket, and I realized I had to get it out, and FAST. The stupid bust had gotten partially stuck in my pocket and things weren't looking good. But, I managed to get it out and put it onto the lid of the grand piano.

As you may have guessed, it was his father that had come home and was walking in from the house entrance which goes through garage to the basement. I stood by the grand piano, holding my hand on the bust, looking very damn suspicious. He just looked at me like he always did, said hello and walked away.

Luckily, nothing happened after that, but I still don't know today if he actually saw me trying to steal the thing or not, because it was really in the nick of time that I managed to abort the foolery and I don't know if he just didn't care or if he was just unwilling to go through with framing me for theft. I can't stop thinking about it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.