stocks

First thing, as people said, is to know learn a bit about investing. Know what a stock is, what it represents, know what a mutual fund is, etc.

Once you've got that done, read "The Intelligent Investor", by Benjamin Graham. It's been written in 1949, the text has last been updated in the 70s before the author's death, and the comments are updated fairly often in new editions to reflect things such as the tech bubble of the early 2000s. Let me warn you though, it's no "get rich quick" book, it's not "exciting" (though it is somewhat funny at times), it won't do everything for you, and if you follow his advice you sure as hell won't have anything exciting to talk about a parties because you probably won't be investing in the latest tech company that promises "paradigm shifts to the synergy of the information age economy". One of the biggest lesson in Graham's book is that an investor's greatest enemy is very often himself. If you're not ready to have a certain amount of self-discipline, then forget about the rest of the stuff Graham teaches, it's not for you. And investing as a whole probably isn't either. Speculation, which according to Graham's definition is essentially everything not done after some amount of research, might be better for you. Though you might as well pick up gambling instead, you'll get pretty much the same results.

Jam it back in, in the dark.