If I hate (my)life and don't care if I die does that make me emo?

Sounds to me like you're hung up on being labeled as something you don't think you are. Frankly, if you're not concerned about living any more, the last thing you should be worried about is being pigeonholed into some clique because of it. If you didn't fear death, it means you don't think you have anything to live for, or, you feel like what you are living for isn't cutting it, which is ridiculous. If you're like the millions of other lost people out there, you just don't *know* what your purpose is yet, or what you're fully capable of doing given the right chance.

If the life you're living is unbearable enough to consider death as an out, then it's time for a change. You don't have anything to lose, right? Before you say "It's too late for that!", just consider that it doesn't have to happen all at once. I'm not talking about moving or changing your name or anything like that, but re-structure your life so you can move past whatever gave you these feelings in the first place. Count up everything you want to keep: you're family, your friends, personal connections, whatever, and take them with you, but leave the rest behind. Can't get away from your problems? Limit your interaction with them. One day at a time is all it takes - small victories.

You said this was hypothetical, so it's nothing personal, but this all applies to anyone who may be thinking this way.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'm not sure how old you are, Juju, but if you're anything like the rest of this board, you're probably an adolescent or there-abouts. If that's true, then it's only natural that you're starting to think about your own mortality. You're at an age where the childhood buffer zone is shrinking and you're considering the future, looking down the road at the rest of your life. Sounds reasonable to me, but it looks like you're coping with the finality of death by welcoming it, which isn't the ideal solution. I know you don't really wanna die, but unless you're hit in the face with something like a terminal illness I don't see any reason to accept a premature death as a legitimate way to rid yourself of your problems. You've still got a ways to go after all, and rest assured that if you really don't want to see any of your family hurt or dying, they don't want to see you that way either.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by a lurker

But if all you want is an answer to your question, yeah, you're emo, and you're not going through anything that no one else went through.

That's right, it's natural for everyone to get down about themselves every once and a while. Whether you're discouraged about the way your life is going, or if you went through a bad experience, or you just had a big loss, sometimes we want an escape. This can be accomplished in two ways: adaptation (change) or forfeit (suicide). The thing is, change takes time and effort to accomplish, while suicide is a relatively quick and effortless solution. In a way, death is the easy way out, but it has the unfortunate after effect of, well, killing you, so that's it, no second chances. Just consider for a minute that you're worth a second chance. The opportunity is there, you just have to seek it out. Life is all about effort, and while it may not be entirely true to say that you get back all of what you put into it, the more you work for a better life, the better yours will be (and the more you have to live for).

For now, make your purpose in life finding your purpose in life. The absolute worst case scenario would be that you just never find anything, but even then you could say you tried, and that's the least anyone can do.

How ya doing, buddy?