Project Cloverfield a.k.a The JJ Abrams trailer before Transformers starts.

You know, I haven't thought of this film until yesterday (I saw the preview at Transformers and must've forgot about it ) but they're are a lot of peculiar things in this film's marketing, especially the Slusho! site. Oddly enough, even though other sites like "Evan Haas was Right" were immediately shot debunked by JJ Abrams, Slusho! remains active. Add that to the fact that the main character (Evan) is wearing a Slusho! shirt in the trailer, and the site being registered just one day before the Transformers premier, it does serve as a definite reference point.

Lots of kooky stuff on the site, but if you look at the company history section, you get the following:

Originally Posted by Slusho.jp

Slusho! story is of magic and triumph!

Noriko Yoshida dedicated her life to Refreshment! Her classmates called her the Smallest Whale because she would drink endless amounts of beverages at every meal.

Truth was Noriko loved libations so much, and drank so much, she did not join while the other children opened their fun, she rather experimented with flavor mixtures - combining different fruits, vegetables and other ingredients naturally grown from her father's (Ryouta Yoshida) farm to make great new beverages.

Her deliciousness made her loved throughout many towns and villages of Honshu.

And Every year she would try to beat herself by coming up with a new flavor mixture, so unique to anything else - she was never satisfied!

But tragedy struck for the Smallest Whale! Noriko set off on a sea adventure to find the greatest, tastiest ingredient to the world, and was never heard from again!

She left behind her only son, Ganu! Ganu also liked to experiment, but not with the beverage-making enterprise that killed his mother, but for science!

He abandoned his mother's drink business to his cousin because the pain of her loss was so great with every flavor mixture Ganu attempted. Truth is that he became a lead ocean scientist. His accomplishments are many, he is very big.

And one fateful day, he and his teammates discovered a deep sea ingredient unique to anything else!!! While the team pondered miraculous ways to use it, Ganu had the best idea of all!! Because that night he had a dream - he was a tiny fish, and a whale came and told him to drink the new ingredient. And as he did drink lots and lots of the ingredient, Ganu grew from a small fish into an enormous whale!!! He woke up with tears, he knew he had found the magic ingredient Noriko had set off to find!

He decided the would make his mother's dream live - make the tastiest drink, unlike anything on earth! Because the ingredient was discovered on the deep ocean floor, under amazing pressure and in the most extreme cold, Ganu knew he had to serve the ingredient in a near-frozen state to preserve its freshness!!

He re-joined with his cousin, and combining the incredible drink-making knowledge of Noriko's business with the new ingredient, SLUSHO! came to life!!!!!

Everyone who drinks SLUSHO! tastes Noriko's dream, and becomes a small whale like Noriko - because you want to drink large amounts of SLUSHO!

YOU CAN'T DRINK JUST SIX!!!

If that's not a monster movie plot, I don't know what is! It's hard to tell exactly what it means, but a mad scientist peddling soft drinks is almost certainly involved. The special ingredient is identified as "Sea Nectar", and though it may just be a throw-away word on the site, take a look at 1-18-08.com.

There's one picture that doesn't seem to fit in with the rest, or have a time stamp: the Asian man with the pan of food. If you look on the back, there's some kanji that translates to the following:

Originally Posted by 1-18-08

Thank you for checking us out! We are Introducing this week's tasty one dish. Make sure you eat it cold!

Skinless chicken breast - 2, cut in halves Sōmen noodles - 10 oz. Watercress - 1/2 cup cut into small strips Turnip - 1/2 cup, thinly sliced Shiitake Mushrooms - 1/2 cup Chicken stock - 1/3 cup Sake - 2 tbsp. Sugar - 1/2 tsp. Deep Sea Nectar - 1 pinch

In a small saucepan, stir together 1/3 cup water, chicken stock, sake, and sugar. Chill it until it becomes cold. Grill the chicken breast on both sides for about 8 minutes, and then chill. Boil the noodles for about 3 minutes, and then run under cold water until chilled. Mix the watercress, radish, and mushrooms into the sōmen. Slice the chicken thinly and arrange on top of the sōmen mix. Just before you serve, put the deep sea nectar in the sauce and pour over the noodles generously.

Go Go Delicious Chef!

Sea Nectar again. Not only that, but the picture will take you to a special website of a fictional company called TAGRUATO, which, according to the Slusho! site, is it's parent corporation.

What does all this mean? I have no idea! But one thing's for sure, if Slusho! *is* involved at all, and not just a marketing ploy, the creature is most likely water-based. Giant crab, a turtle, some aquatic primordial reptile, whatever.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by guyinrubbersuit

So this movie is the Stuff 2?

This January... get ready for stuff.

"Oh my God... It's... it's..!"

"What? What is it!?"

"STUFF!"

"Wrong... it's MORE STUFF! More than last time!!"

"But I thought we destroyed all that stuff!"

"No... this is different. Different stuff."

"Oh m-aggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

1-18-08 - Stuff 2: Stuff Happens.

Originally Posted by Divest

It's actually Rampage, the movie adaptation.

Sorry guys, didn't mean to spoil it for you.

That'd be pretty awesome actually. So I guess the monster is Lizzy? Can't be George or Ralph, not hairy enough. And there has to be a scene where it punches through a building, eats a cactus, and spits it out comically.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Divest

I found an image online that's supposedly the Cloverfield monster.



How trustworthy are the sources? Not very but it's a neat picture never the less.

ALSO: Cloverfield confirmed to be a PG-13 movie.

*sigh*

IESB says the monster pic is fake, with Paramount backing them up. Apparently it came from this guy's blog. I agree, still a very convincing piece of fanart, though.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

It's Lavos. Why are we even still discussing this?

It's Lavos nine years too late. Looks like his arrival wasn't stopped after all, just delayed.

BUT THE FUTURE REFUSED TO CHANGE, IT JUST GOT LAZY.

Originally Posted by Divest

8 DAYS GUYS. 8 DAYS.

I know where I'm gonna be next Friday!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?