"Settling down"

Based on nadi's journal entry and seeing responses, I'd like to know what you all think about the idea of "settling down" or whatever.

There seems to be a good deal of pessimism regarding marriage, housing, and kids both here and outside of here in some circles. I'm one of them.

While I recognize that maturity, finance, and mental capability come into play here, I wonder what the "average" age should be for the ideal time to settle down.

On a personal note, I struggle with the idea a lot. I always like to know what's next in line, and how to prepare for it. But I feel entirely too young to be getting married, buying a house, and having kids.

I feel pressure from family a lot about these things (particularly my mother, but her input really is childish and based on personal desire), and society (I think?) leads me to think that I may be just putting things on a back burner. I'm coming up on 27 years old (just TYPING that causes me to worry), and I am kind of lost when it comes to what I want. I mean, I KNOW what I want - but down the line, of course. I'm getting older, and it feels like there's a clock ticking away that I have to beat. Meet a deadline or something. But I'm sure that's due to the pressures I feel from those in my family, those friends of mine who have since settled in (both happy and unhappy), and from society.

Is this typical? What would be considered an ideal situation for even THINKING of settling down?

I try to be pragmatic about it all: I still have a good deal of kid in me who wants to see the nation, travel and learn more. I sense that if I were to settle down, I'd be almost boxing myself in and willing put myself into a subset of family living - which I am PERSONALLY not so willing to accept. But I fear that this sense will remain well into my older years.

Not that I am asking any of you internet people to guide my life. I just wonder what the relatively reasonable age would be to consider these things would be.

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Originally Posted by nadienne

Only the nation, Sass?

I figure since it's rather expensive to do international travels, I would wait until I was retired and older to do those things. I would never have the time or money to travel the world at this age. Work hard, rear children, then relax. ^_^ (Ideally, of course)

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I don't see the problem with getting married later, as long as you're still young enough to have kids without a huge risk of birth defects.

This is another thing I've been kicking around.

I think you're absolutely right - marriage can be held off on. But I wonder if getting married BEFORE having kids is the more ideal situation? Legally, unmarried folks with kids get the same rights from what I've seen. (Since love children aren't looked down upon so much anymore, I figure)

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Originally Posted by Anazai

I think doing that would help me mature a lot and give me something that I have to do and stick with and not give up.

Personally, I don't think a person should use children to help themselves mature. It seems counter-intuitive to me.

You should probably be certain that you're mature enough to have kids before having them.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Shively

I have been going out with the same girl for 3 years. After a very brief stint with another girl at the same time in which I had to choose between a Japanese and Korean girl. After a long pros / cons session with my self I decided that 3 years should not be thrown away and that I had more in common with my girlfriend of 3 years.

I am about to move to California to take on a job for a recording studio and I will be appart for 9 months while she finishes our lease and I get settled and able to recieve her. We both at this point have faith that this will work considering she put up with me for 3 years.

We are both at the age where we want to settle down and be there although we do not want children at this time because there is still too much fun to be had which takes money!!

You're back talking about the Jap and the Korean again?

I don't... even understand... how this has to do with settling down.

Not to mention that if you're kind of on the fence about who you want to be with, maybe "settling down" isn't exactly something you should be thinking about. Maybe it's me.

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