NSFW - Serious sex discussion

How did you come across the idea of sex and when?

I think I saw something on TV which filled me in on what "sex" actually was. I tried to ask my step-mother at the time what sex was (I was maybe 6 or 7), and I remember exactly what she said: "Sex is the difference between a boy and a girl!"

From that point on, I didn't trust anyone to actually tell me the truth.

If you could talk to your parents about sex in general, would you?

Never have, never will. There's no reason to. My father tried to have that "talk" with me when I was about 16. I was already on birth control, sleeping with my then boyfriend, and so on. I told him he was a day late, a dollar short. I assured him I knew what I was doing and that I wasn't being an idiot about it.

That's the last time my father and I discussed sex in a personal sense.

But we're a pretty open family. We joke about it a lot, on a general level.


Do you take your friends' experiences at sex with a grain of salt? Or do you let it influence your decisions about sex in general later in your own relationships?

I've never listened to anyone around me about sex. I knew that could possibly lead me down a road I didn't want to go down. I wasn't a dolt about it, and I was pretty educated on the issue. I didn't need any input from my friends. In fact, even today, I don't discuss sex with my friends unless it's in a general sense.

Is your religion a HUGE reason why the sex part of the discussion between you and your bf/gf is so prohibited?

I have been an atheist for a very long time, so no. Religion never effected my sexual practices. Logic maybe, but not religion. I resent the idea that religion would interfere with my bedroom.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Colonel Skills

That is so different from what my Mom did. When I was...5? Or so? There was this picture book my mom had. "Where to babies come from". Written in huge font and such like all those other children's books. Had little cartoony drawings of naughty bits and such. Probably pretty informative for a grade 1 kid, in retrospect.

Yea, my ex step-mother was extremely sexually repressed, due to her being Catholic. SUPER EXTREME Catholic.

So, you know, I guess she would have rather avoided the topic all together until I was popping out babies at the ripe old age of 13. Even then, I doubt she would have embraced the idea of birth control. =/

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Philia

Perhaps it'll help if I rephrase the question whether or not if religion influences your sexual preferences (and I don't mean hetro/gay preferences alone) but rather CULTURE around you. Religion is often a bit more like culture that your own family had taught you since you were small.

I grew up in a fairly strict, European home with a lot of outside influences. The culture around me never really affected how I thought about sex, honestly. I mean, maybe it's the regional thing for us New Englanders that sex is the individual's business: so long as you hurt no one, you're cool in our book.

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I find it hard to believe that atheists don't have any sort of restraint upon sex other than general preferences of their opposites themselves. Does having no sort of basis of faith pushes you to HAVE sex immediately? o.O' That's what I mean.

Wow. O_O Thats an interesting perspective.

Having no faith or religion doesn't really impact your sex life, from what I can tell. I mean, it's not like a faith would keep you in line as far as sex is concerned, you know? Just because Person A believes in a god and Person B has no god doesn't mean that Person B is more likely to be a harlot, or vice versa.

I guess what I am saying is that if you've got a brain, you can determine when you're ready for sex.

Some people value sex more than others, though. I don't view it as a life-changing event, a sacred experience, or something you should wait until marriage for. It's just sex, and it's really not a huge deal. It's fun, and everyone should try it, so long as they're smart about it. (You know, using protection and all that happy shit any adult should be aware of)

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I guess I'm going for the detail of WHAT drove you to be open about sex in general or rather what didn't prevent you from having sex at all. Is it more of a causal spontaneous kind of thing that you guys just didn't really think about or it was genuine when you love your partner then?

I loved the guy I first slept with, thats for certain. Hardest fall I ever took in my life when we broke up, and rather silly in retrospect. Just, you know, for the record.

Now, for everyone, it's a different case, but for me, I didn't have anything but myself to hold me back from having sex. When I wanted to do it, I did it. I don't find anything morally wrong with that. I was 15 at the time, and we were careful about it. It was something I wanted to do and didn't regard it in a poor light.

I don't like spontaneous sex. Some people do. I prefer to have some sort of a future with someone I bed with, but sometimes, shit just doesn't work out. What're you going to do? =/

Which brings me to the NEXT question.

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Is it possible to have lustful sex when you're in love with this person?

I know this sounds SO dumb, but I realized its kinda impossible to "make love" when I saw that I'm rather kissing my husband to show that I love him so much but when it comes down to sexual pleasure, its more of indulging into pleasure itself from each other that didn't seem like "love-making" itself... o.o' Maybe I'm not there yet to experience this lol!

Well, uh. Again, that's an odd perspective.

I'd hope that you love the person you're with and they get you hot. I don't think I have that whole...divide in my mind like you seem to. I really don't think about it that much. Maybe I just don't put that much emphasis on sex. To me, it's something that people who have feelings for each other do. (Sometimes, people do it without havings feelings out of pure lust. Which is also cool, but not part of my creed)

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Even so, I realized that in some insane concepts that a person can love this person so much that sex would appear as a dealbreaker because it would possibly tarnish their image of these said beloved people. O.o' Thus avoiding sex altogether for the name of love? o.O' Such oddest thing but I had heard of it...

Yea, I really don't villainize sex like that at all. "Tarnishing" their image by having sex? The hell?

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But I hope that helps to explain what I'm confused about in regarding "love-making" which is really strange concept to me. If you could, could you help me by explaining it or describing it to me? If too much, you don't have to reply!

You want me to explain "love-making" to you.

I'm probably the wrong person to ask.

Maybe it's that Christian guilt you're feeling or something, but I mean... if you love your husband (which you do), wouldn't you want to share this experience with him? I mean...not that you wouldn't, but if you love him, then you're making love, I guess. It's an experience you (personally) would only give to a person you love. (Again, not true for everyone, but "love-making," I assume, is just a term)

I guess it's the more kind, tender version of saying "Yea, I'm banging her" ^_^

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Second question, when you truly LOVE this person, how do you display love to this person?

I just kiss my husband a lot... he calls it rape since I pounce on him sometimes. xD LOL. He's hilarious, but its true though, there was NOT a day go by that I wouldn't kiss my husband. That's love to me for sure since its not either pressure or whatever, but a spontaneous feeling of love. I hope that helps explain a bit of what I mean by genuine love displays.

Displaying love is an individual thing.

I know GFF won't care to know, but I show affection in (enter the fat jokes) biting. It's not a sexual thing - it's a pleasantry to me (which some do not so much enjoy). If I love you, I will bite you.

Kissing is an intensely intimate thing - some think it's more intimate than sex itself. If you want to display love to your husband in kissing, thats excellent and not strange at all.

Sex isn't the end-all, be-all for showing love for a lot of people.

And uh, sorry for answering you personally? I don't know if those questions were posed to everyone, so. SORRY~

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.