Leaving a relationship

This is fucked. up.

You need to get the computer out of the house, regardless of if she'll damage it or not. It's fucking KILLING your family life.

If you guys have a kid (and I don't give a shit if it's only her kid. She comes as a package deal), you need to put down the toys and fucking TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.

Stop giving her a reason to stay in all day, everyday. Give her a reason to go look for a job. Or at least give her reason to clean the house and cook, for Christ's sakes.

Your family is dysfunctional. You're too busy fighting about who gets to take care of the kid while playing WoW. Thats sick. If I lived in that house, the game would be out the fucking window. If you can't do it in moderation, you've got a serious problem - the BOTH of you.

Also, about your bitch - you need to stop letting her walk all over you. If you just GIVE IN and give her what she wants, she'll constantly expect more and more. Put your FOOT DOWN, god DAMN where is the resolve here?

SO DEPRESSING.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

In any case, children come first. Stop playing WoW. Talking to your parents would be a good first step. When things have normalized or seem better, talk to your GF. Its not use leaving now so you'll have to stick it through.

Yea, I should have mentioned something a little more on topic.

If you leave her because you can't play enough WoW (or she gets to play too much without doing her responsibilities as a parent), you're a fucking dumbass.

What did you think this relationship would be about? Did you think having a kid involved would make things any easier? I could see if it was just the two of you and you were just fed up with her and wanted to leave - but there's a CHILD involved. You're both being jackasses. If you're older enough to pop out a kid, you should be old enough to DEAL with that.

Don't leave her because of your trivial problems with a game and a computer. The computer should be the LAST thing on your mind.

((Seriously. Who raised these people.))

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by nadienne

Am I the only one here who noticed that he asked about how to leave and not about how to fix the relationship?

First thing I noticed. I was actually feeling AWFULLY misled by the title of the thread, actually. The thread should be more aptly titled "How I am a weak man who loves WoW too much!"

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He knows the thing's fucked up. If you're that worried about your computer, wait until she's in the bathroom taking a dump or fast asleep and get it and any other important shit together as quickly as possible and put it somewhere she doesn't have access to, like your friend's house. Fix your bank account so that she doesn't have access to it anymore--if it's a joint account then open another account and transfer all the money. Take the checkbook out of her wallet, any credit cards you might be paying for, and her keys to the apartment (and then make an appointment to get the locks changed as soon as possible). Take as many precautionary measures as possible. Then come back and tell her that you're breaking up and that you're willing to drive her to wherever she needs to go for the night, she can pack a few night's worth of stuff and come back for the rest later, when you're there to watch her.

Nadi, can I marry you. <3

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And then stand firm no matter what she does. Basically, grow balls, set boundries, and stick to your guns.

THIS is the key point, dude. All the other shit don't mean SQUAT unless you can stick to your guns.

If not, you're doomed for a MISERABLE relationship. This should actually be a lesson to so many men - I have seen it time and time again. (Women, too). Do not be afraid to break a habit for the sake of sanity and safety!

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And then once you've actually gotten her out of the house, set up an appointment with a therapist so you can figure out why you let yourself get into such a messed up situation, so that you don't get rid of her and then fall right back into it with some other broad.

I don't think its so much the situation as both of these people being THICK. I mean, you have to admit - while he works and earns a living, he's not INNOCENT here.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Grail

Thanks for the advise, and I knew that it would be harsh, very harsh but it's what I need to hear ^^;

The big thing is, and I know I'm going to be flamed left and right for saying this, but this is my first real relationship. We've been going out for nearly a year now.

You haven't been "going out." You're telling me you've known her for a year - been an item for a year - and you're living with her, helping her raise her kid, and playing a daddy for her? What are you, stupid? Sorry to be harsh, but especially if you're in your first relationship - didn't your parents tell you anything about this shit? Did your friends warn you?

What made you decide this was a GOOD DECISION?

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She is talking about getting married constantly, and aside from doing dishes and cooking once in a while, I get stuck with all the other work when I'm home from work.

DO NOT - I REPEAT DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN. I am sure you don't need to be told, now that you're realizing whats going on here. But I have a feeling she may try to guilt you or literally BEAT you into supression.

You've been together for a year and it's already going to shit. Imagine yourselves in 20 years. YEA. NO.

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Other than that, she is extremly verbally abusive, sometimes even when wrestling around she goes out of her way to make sure I'm bruised sometimes. She happens to be an ex-model which is definately causing some problems there because, as nicely as I can put it, she has been and from the way it looks, will be overweight for a very long time, and she takes all of her stress out on me instead of just talking about it, that's why i need to leave.

Does she shove fried chicken and biscuits down her gullet too? An ex-model heh. Already, I can tell you she's got some psychological problems. I am afraid to ask - where did you meet her.

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She has been through seven people before me and I know for a fact that she is taking advantage of me. She's using her ex-boyfriends to point out everything that upsets her, and makes sure I hear about how what I do isn't what a person in a relationship should do, such as:

A family spends every waking minute together. She never wants me to have any privacy what-so-ever. If I am not supose to have some alone time everynow and then, even when it's playing WoW a few hours out of the week, then I'm clearly not ready for any type of relationship right now.

Then tell her to leave you. Tell her to stop mooching off of you. Tell her she needs to put a bullet in her skull. The woman needs to be hit in the head repeatedly with a basebal bat if she thinks families spend every waking moment together.

Parents SHOULD, however, spend as many "waking moments" with their CHILD, though. I wonder if she does that.

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As for the WoW thing, I used to play it for a couple hours every night before I met her, and as far as I know, she hated the idea of me playing games because she thought I'd give her and the baby no time at all. We don't fight over who gets to play the game, as I typically play it when they are both asleep and I can't sleep, it's usually a fight as to when she is playing, I'm constantly looking after her child, and when I play, I still have to look after the baby so she does little to nothing at all.

You need to get WoW out of your life for now, dude. Woman or no woman, it's not healthy to play it a whole lot. A few nights a week for a couple hours I can understand, but if you're fighting over the goddamned thing, remove it. It's clear neither of you are adult enough to deal with it now.

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I love the kid to death, and I'm gonna feel bad for her when I'm not in the picture. It was to my understanding that two people raise a child, not one person, especially when it's not even biologically connected to that person.

Yea, well. You should have thought about that. Don't let her manipulate you into staying for the child, though. I am sure your morals dictate that you should stay for the kid, but I've never been of the mindset to agree to that sort of thing.

But then, you signed up for it. You've made your bed, kiddo.

Where's the father, anyways? Shouldn't she be collecting child support from him??

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Her mother raised her to not be controlled by men, almost to the point where she gets violent, where my mother raised me to not live a life at all and if I didn't listen to her, she guilt tripped me and cried her eyes out...so yeah, I was fucked from the beginning.

Beware female guilt trips. Don't let them control you with tears. Just like they can fake orgasms, they can fake tears too.

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This has been a hard leaned lesson, and I'm gonna end up paying big time for it in the end, and I know that. I just hope maybe someone getting into my situation sees this and, unlike me, realizes that if your significant other THREATENS to leave you when you don't buy her things, or something to that extent, let her leave you, you'll be better off.

Don't "let her leave you." Are you insane? She'll never leave - ESPECIALLY if you keep helping her avoid her responsibilities (like work and cooking and cleaning)

GIVE HER A REASON TO GET OFF HER LAZY ASS.

Man. You made a mistake in making this your first relationship. Seriously - no one WARNED you?? O_O

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Devoxy

Also consider talking to her relatives about how she spends her time. If her family gives a shit about that kid, I'd doubt they'd be happy about their grandkid/nephew being neglected by his own mother so she can play video games.

Devo brings up something interesting here. How old are you kids? What do your parents have to say, if anything?

It's a really bizarro situation - if this is your first relationship Grail, where are your parents at? What do THEY have to say about all of this? Surely, neither side must have very thrilled parents.

I was speaking idiomatically.