I need to do something.

This morning, all my work was taken from me. All my commissions, all my quotations, all my customers. People I have been working with and providing with service for 2 years.

Cheryl bitched at my father because she noticed I was making substantial commissions on my work, and now, he's given her MORE than half of my pie. Because she's jealous. And he bent to her whim.

He wrote an email in response to one of the leads I forwarded him this morning. He said "Cheryl can take this and all future TP leads."

I almost had a coronary. I wrote this in response to him. I know I didn't fuck up since he just DEFENDED me the other day when Cheryl attacked me for making money on these things. He's not the kind of person to hold back if I fuck up.

I am sorry to post this here, but I AM REALLY stressing about this - to the point of TEARS. I feel really back-stabbed. Someone console me. ;_;

Originally Posted by Email to my father

What. Is this a joke.

Now she's asking me for templates. Why do you do this to me, Dad. And now prices. This is REALLY pissing me off, Dad. DO NOT put me in these positions, please. I do NOT want to oversee this shit when you KNOW it upsets me. And I have to oversee it since you're not here and she's asking me questions. Do you not TRUST me to do this for you? Have I messed up? Did I do something wrong??

I'm not too happy about this. I would have done these without expectation of commission - you know that. I know it's pretty clear you don't care if this upsets me, but this is totally unprofessional. You're playing games with me, and I don't appreciate it. I may be your daughter, but I expect you to stick to your word as my superior. You're making my workplace incredibly tense. I don't like working in a tense place. I want to get MY work done.

I guess if I bitch about things, I will get them too. Is that how it works in this company? I bitch and something happens? Seems to work for her - why shouldn't it work for me. I see where your loyalty lies and it hurts me a lot that you apparently don't trust me to do these things for you (with NO expectation of anything in return.)

I do these things to HELP you, not for the money. Remember that. Please.

If we're going to bitch and get entitlement to things, I'd like to officially ask for packing list envelopes.

Danielle

PS - I'd ask that you keep this email between you and I, please.

I guarantee she'll see this email within the next 24 hours. I am fully expecting WW3. And peeack will be thrilled to know this is the closest I've come to quitting my job ever.

And if it comes to WW3, I am totally busting out. I will rage like there has been no rage before. I don't think anyone quite understands how long I've been harboring this anger inside of me pertaining to this workplace.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Drex

Man, that stinks. I can commiserate on a small scale, with my cousin/roommate being my boss and creating a tense work environment for me both in and outside of work at times, but he typically only threatens my job, he doesn't take away my work (well, other than writing the program to do aspects of my job, but I help him do that =P). It's really tough to work with family mostly because all actions taken in one aspect of life will typically affect other aspects, if inadvertantly. And either way, taking your projects and customers and whatnot just because another employee whines is bad work ethic.

Good luck with WW3 if it comes to that. Hopefully it won't and your dad will see your side of the argument.

Usually I can muscle him into the "right" thing to do.

And I am not saying MY way is the right way because *I* benefit. I am saying I will refuse my commissions if it comes to that.

I just don't want her to take something from me that I've been working on so hard when she can't lift a finger to do ANYTHING. She is the shittiest worker I've had to deal with, and I'm going to burst. BURST. And I really REALLY need help keeping this anger under control, here.

I am SHAKING in anger. Moreso in feeling really really betrayed. You ever wonder if I get hurt? This is about the time. I take my work seriously - ALL my work, in both personal and business facets. I do things as quickly and diligently as I possibly can.

This feels like the last straw. I feel like I am being shit on big time. (Keep in mind she's my father's pseudo-girlfriend. They're either on or off.)

This has happened to me all my life. It feels like I am 10 again and I have no say in anything - including my own work. Which makes me feel like being employed here completely defeats the entire purpose.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Minion

I think working with your family is a bad idea. I also think working in a small company is a bad idea. You're doing both at once and you obviously are not enjoying it. Just find another job.

Working with my family is great. I love working side-by-side with my father. Cheryl, however, is NOT my family.

Thats not the issue, here.

And you know I won't give it up until I just can't take it anymore. (Which has never really happened to me. I can take A LOT.)

This is more of a PERSONAL issue than anything.

Drex - I appreciate your input a lot. I am glad you can sympathize in a way. The meditation I AM SURE would help, if I had the time right here in the office. I could maybe lock myself in the bathroom, lay on the floor, and just vege out for 15 minutes. But I'd see her face and go right back into anger.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by peeack

Well not thrilled at the circumstances love, but a change of scenery could be good for you. Unfortunatly, I don't really have any advice for you. Mostly because I can't really comprehend how your Dad could be that much of a twat not only to his daughter but to one of his employees. Does he not give a shit about you? Does he not want to run his buisness efficiantly? Fucking French!

Fuck 'em Sass. Let them both have it with both barrels, then get the fuck out of there. I don't doubt you're qualified enough to gain employment elsewhere. It's not giving up, it's being AGGRESSIVE in that you're DESTROYING their workplace. Think of it that way, and it doesn't rrreaally seem like you're throwing in the towel.

Ahaha, I love Peeack. You made me feel better. ^_^

I don't want to do anything malicious. Thats not morally RIGHT and its not the way I do business.

And I USED to be qualified to manage hotels. My name hasn't been out on the wire for years, though. I used to be recruited, but I think I've been out of the game too long to play anymore.

That, and I am in a really TOUGH spot. I go to school fulltime and I expect to work fulltime as well. One of the benefits of this job is they're paying for my education. They allow me to attend classes during work hours, since I am going to school for my work here, because I/they figure I have a future in it. I have invested a lot here. Its too soon for me to just give up. Besides. I don't "give up" at ANYTHING. ^_^

I've seriously considered sabotage, too. Which is COMPLETELY immoral, but I almost feel like I am resorting to survival, here.

I figure I just need a shot of whiskey and a good conversation with my father about it.

SS - She is technically the "office manager." But I also hold positions above her ranking. It's kind of fucked up. We all wear a million different hats. She relies on me on some things, I need her for others.

Depending on who you ask in the company, we could be either peers or she could be my superior. No one would consider me to be her superior, however. I think when I first started working here, she was deemed my superior. Since, my father has seen that she has misguided me in some areas and told me to think for myself and do what I feel is the PROPER way. If I have questions, HE is my superior. He specifically instructed me NOT to take orders from her.

Drexxxx - My family is a creature in and of itself, and we get over shit really easily. I am sure the three of us (sister, father, myself) could work in harmony with each other with few tiffs - there would NEVER be a WW3 between the three of us.

The problem lies (and I admit) that I have a serious issue with CHERYL as his girlfriend. Because I don't like what she does to him in his personal life, I have a really hard time working with her. I can play nice REALLY well (I even bought her coffee today) just because I have to work here, but I HATE her as a person.

Its hard to keep things professional when you know so much about our lives OUTSIDE of the office.

And honestly, I know I should not know ANYTHING about their relationship. Thats how NORMAL people would work, right? But unfortunately, she's SABOTAGED me, she's tried to take whats my family's outside of the office, and she's generally a conniving, gold-digging BITCH.

This make me distrust all her motivations here.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Peeack - No, I would not be able to maintain school AND work if I were to quit here and go elsewhere. Since my school doesn't really BENEFIT any of the companies I would go to out of choice, they would neither PAY FOR nor TOLERATE my school during business hours/expenses.

One MAJOR reason I am sitting here right now.

LeHah - I'm not calling a third party because I feel hurt. Thats fucking retarded. I'll take care of my own business in time - I am just ANGSTING (appropriately in here) about how I feel backstabbed.

Though I rather like how you referred to things. I admire you sometimes. I wish I could have the balls to do horrible things to her.

I've since talked to my father via both email and phone. He stands his ground, but he sees my point. He's made excuses for himself, none of which are satisfactory explanations for his decision.

Drex - its totally true that "declaring war" on a third party works. Too bad she is no help in love OR war.

Now, after I've given her the templates to the quotes, the price list and formulas for the quotes, the explanation for all the details of said processes, SHE NEEDS ME TO INSTALL ADOBE ON HER COMPUTER. Because she "can't figure it out."

And I have no authority to tell her to go fuck herself.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Sir, this is a "professional" (ahahhaha) environment. (I mean the office, not GFF. ^_^ )

I need to be able to control myself. Not all things in life are resolved with "GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU HORRIBLE CUNT."

LeHah, I would never do that. I love working with him and he's awesome at what he does. Its just when he plays politics with me that I get hurt. I am not half as vicious as you are. I don't want to hurt anyone.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

You feel backstabbed because you have been backstabbed. I know you love your dad, but let's face it. He gets sex from this woman. She's going to win out every time.

That, actually, is completely inaccurate. I hate to brag, but I am thinking you have no idea what I have done to horrible women in my father's past.

I usually win out. But the same techniques I use here on GFF - EXHAUSTION. My resolve and determination is borderline mentally ill. I have fought many women out of my father's life - this woman is weaker, dumber, and much less USEFUL in his personal life than any of the past ones.

And don't ask me why I know this, but I guess she refuses to put out for him anymore. OR WAS refusing. Until they broke up because she was neither listed in my father's will nor would he allow her to get her hands into the ownership of this business.

Quote:

Think about how many hours a day of your precious life you spend at your job. You may love your dad and your job, but this bitch continues to cause you serious stress, and who needs that? I'd seriously get the hell out of there. History has proven that your dad is usually going to side with this woman. You're too smart and life's too short to have to deal with her crap day in and day out.

Did you miss the part about school? ;_;

Quote:

And telling anyone to go fuck themselves isn't going to help the situation.

That's my two cents.

You're absolutely right about this one. ^_^

Originally Posted by MinionPie

One thing's for sure. You will have to do something other than get upset all the time. Get some leverage against them. I don't know the situation well enough to tell you what to do, but I'm sure you could think of something. Stupid pranks aren't going to help and they'll only make you feel better for 5 minutes until you have to deal with the aftermath.

I agree with you.

And I have leverage, in a way. I've already threatened him to quit in an email about 15 minutes ago. He didn't like that, considering the plans that are upcoming (which I can't talk about. =/ ) and he was relying on me to do things.

Its just hurt, you know. I hate it when I do everything I can for a cause and WHAM, I get it in the ass. ;_;

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

I didn't miss it, but you do realize that the vast majority of people don't get their educations paid for through their jobs, right? I mean, some people do, but my point is that there are ways around it. Student loans, scholarships, etc. People do it all the time. Plus, if you let them pay for your education you're just going to feel more indebted to them and might feel pressured to stay at a job that could possibly get more and more frustrating if she is successful in getting her claws deeper into your dad.

I am not putting myself in debt, and not playing that bullshit college game. The reason I even agreed to go back to college was because it was an all-expense-paid-trip to Degree Land.

I think the negative personal emotions at this point are not enough for me to give up what I am doing. I can't "give up" on everything in life, you know? Not everything is a walk in the park. I will get what I need. Once I have nothing to lose in leaving, I will leave. If it comes to that.

Besides. I am struggling with the EMOTIONAL part of this, you know? The workplace and the politics are just that - workplace politics. It's just that my father slapped me in the face with his bitch again. Probably UNINTENTIONALLY, but even then. He should know better.

And Eks, yea, I am more personally, emotionally hurt by it than I am about some woman taking my work. In most cases, I'm thrilled to have someone take work off of my desk for me.

I just don't like it when it goes to someone like her.

Minion, your company paid for your education? Did you WORK for them while you were in school? How does that work? You need to tell me so I can consider it.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

Well, the military does it (undergrad, that is).

Ahahahha. ha. ha. HA. NO.

No offense, of course. But you know how I feel about the military. Buying men like they were apples for sale.

Quote:

So do many hospitals if you're interested in a nursing degree, and most states offer grants for would-be teachers.

Nursing is completely and utterly out of my range of interest, frankly. But originally, when I first went to college years ago (and eventually left), I was going for a degree in education with a minor in mathematics. ^_^

Quote:

I didn't say that it wasn't done, I just think it's not all that common for a company or organization to pay for a person's education.

Thats why CARPE DIEM, Alice! You see an opportunity - TAKE IT!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I can see your situation Sass, but I truly think it comes down to you being reluctant to take the necessary but extremely painful steps to resolve this. You have to realize that it's going to hurt no matter what you do, so there is nothing to be gained by letting things remain as is.

Essentially, you have two options: quit, or declare open war on Cheryl. By that I mean active, out-in-the-open sabotage. You're going to have a break down if you're forced to tolerate this woman any longer, so you have to force your dad's hand - it's her or you. Harass and undermine her, to the detriment of the company, until he has no choice BUT to fire someone, or let the business tank. But either way, you must FORCE a decision out of him because he's too wishy-washy to do so of his own volition.

In actuality, I think you have a really good point. Thinking about it, I think he INTENTIONALLY does these things, just to keep a balance of sorts.

After talking to Pang for a while, I think I have an interesting plan. I know what he'd say if I threatened to quit. I need to have a fallback for it.

Quote:

You may not regard the emotional trauma as worth quitting over, but the fact of the matter is, it's making your life a living Hell. You'd complain about this bitch every other day in your Chocojournal, and things just seem to be degrading over time. Emotional abuse alone is recognized just as much as any other form of abuse by the law, and letting this situation fester as is just exposes you to more needless abuse. You wouldn't let your father physically beat you, so why are you letting him emotionally beat you?

Yea, I know. I don't mean to bitch about it so much and I know its annoying. I just need to talk to SOMEONE about it. It makes me feel better (and less angry) to let it out here.

And, you know, this is why I am unemotional. Or try to be, anyways. Because it makes less target room for my father. But I REALLY think he doesn't know how much he hurts me sometimes.

I think its a little extreme to SAY he's emotionally abusing me, but hey. I think rape is silly. Who am I. ^_^

Quote:

The classic abusive husband always cries and apologizes every time he looses his temper and hits his wife, but he never stops doing it. Is this the cycle you want to be stuck in?

I understand his motivations, though. We're father-daughter, first of all. Second, this is a business - not the home. I can usually fight my own fight at home, but I am kind of at his mercy here.

But rumor has it she HAS been fired. There's a twist in this story. One I was unaware of.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Fired as in "shes jobless as we speak" or fired as in "shes lost jobs in the past"?

Can't really say. She'll be working for another company really soon. Take that as you will.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by LeHah

Out of sight, out of mind. Do you think your dad would stop mickey mousing the situation if the flat-faced leech of a woman was not working under him anymore?

He has already admitted is was a huge mistake on his behalf. He hired her because he was involved with her, not because of her ability.

First and last, he said. And I believe it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Guys, I'm not going to quit. I won't let her beat me. Sometimes, life is miserable. I can deal, so long as I can explode now and again.

Originally Posted by wvlfpvp

May I just say, I've missed hearing about Cheryl. We need Chocojournals back.

Yea, I miss them too. You guys could have ignored all this if I had a journal up. ;_;

Quote:

Maybe just find someone to be your safe place, but that's difficult. And not for everybody.

This is precisely what I need, really. Pang can only listen so much.

I was speaking idiomatically.

UPDATE:

Well, I come into work today and I find an email with a decidedly different tone from my father. He's very upset and "doesn't like my tone."

Quote:

I understand you do not like Cheryl, but between you & I don't {know} too many
people you can deal with (even me sometimes...)

So I advise you to stop this anti Cheryl shit and expect only
professionalism at all time at TPI OR the shit will hit the fan.

Am I making myself clear?

So essentially, he's really pissed off because as an EMPLOYEE, I filed a grievance with him. Because that never happens. Ever. Please note the UNPROFESSIONALISM of that email. ^_^

So he's resorted to threats, which are completely empty coming from him. I CHALLENGED him to "resolve the issue of Danielle being a whiny and insolent employee" by firing her.

Unfortunately, we are BOTH the kind of person who will cut off his nose to spite his face. So this COULD be war. Who knows. Its a lot better for me to argue in text than it is in reality because he does a lot of yelling, shouting, and insulting. But I plan to assault the issue verbally next I see him.

I responded to him with a 3 page paper, extremely critical of him. I won't respond to any further emails from him, as everything turns into a personal-attack-athon with him. I said my piece. We'll see where it goes.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I still think you should leave tacks on Cheryl's chair and open spam e-mails on her computer with an unpatched Internet Explorer. If you know your dad's not gonna fire you, what's stopping you from being openly hostile to the point of Cheryl being unable to actually get work done? Prying at your dad doesn't seem to be accomplishing much of anything, since no matter what, he eventually waffles back in favor of Cheryl.

Ahaha, you sound exactly like Pang. "You know you're not going to get fired. Fuck with her as much as you can!"

Thats not my way. I just want it resolved. I am not that malicious, guys. ;_;

FELIPE NO