Gal Pal problems.

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Invite her out to coffee or something. If you do, converse about something other than her shitty relationship. Take it slow and easy (don't flirt unless she's playing hardball) and just try to make her comfortable with you.

Moreover, if the girl flirts you with, tread with care. She's not all there.

Alice and LeHah are both right about damaged goods. Allow me to add my two cents.

The girl broke up with the bloke - all fine and good. But any woman who ALLOWS a man to shove her against a wall and runs off crying deserves what she gets.

Yea, yea, emotional pain yadda yadda. A man strikes me, I it him back twice as fucking hard. (And yea, I know I am a crazy shehulk bitch, but really).

Whats worse is that she (and others) decided to talk about this. I don't get this mentality at all. It's like she's LOOKING for pity. And man, I may be wrong on this one, but these women are the sorts that you should RUN FROM. As fast as you fucking can.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Sass, you don't seem to like the "I'd like to talk to someone about my emotional pain" mentality of certain people. I've asked you this before, but would you rather people supress it? Some people can't handle that very well.

The hell are you referring to, precisely. I need some clarification.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

You-know-who.

THANKS FOR THE CLARIFICATION! That makes it much more clear!

-_-

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Aequitas

So just see if she wants to get some coffee or catch a movie sometime and such?
Also, when would I know when it is a good time to flirt / how to tell if she is interested in me?

I think right now, you should be focused more on being there for her. Let her come to you.

And make sure it's not in a week.

Although, depending on your age, she could be over the guy in a week. WHO KNOWS!

Are you in uni or in high school??

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Aequitas

Currently in High School, 12th grade. And the two of us are going to be going to the same college.

And by "Let her come to you" are you refering to let her ask me, or wait until she flirts or something?
(Also, if it isn't much of a bother, what are some of the ways you can tell if a girl is flirting with you?)

If you're seniors in high school, I would imagine you have a reasonable grasp on relationships.

So. What I am saying is give her distance, give her time. Let her decide when is good for her. You don't want to push - you'll only end up pushing her away. Unless she IS that unstable person I see a bit of.

I really can't tell what kind of a girl she is. She DID break up with him. But she DID announce this shit to people. So.

What I am trying to say (sorry sorry) is that you should wait until she shows an interest in you. If that doesn't happen on it's own, I would wait some time before trying anything.

But flirting? Maybe a couple of months? I don't know. I can't get a good READING. ^_^

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Aequitas

She hasn't really anounced any of this to anyone other then me, so she didn't realy 'announce' it to people.

She isnt really that unstable, its just when she loves someone she'll try to fix the relationship until she's f'n fed up, then she'll just end it.

How will I be able to tell if she does show an interest in me / flirts with me?

Are you asking me how you can tell if a girl is flirting with you?

Man. You're a senior in high school?

Just wait patiently. Someone once said patience is a virtue, and he was probably right. You'll probably be able to tell, if you're the intelligent sort. But don't rush to conclusions. She may not even have an interest in you romantically.

I'd say after 6-8 months or so, if she hasn't made a move on you, she's either not interested or you need to step up your game and stop waiting for her to come to you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by CileGray

6-8 months ? Geez... they weren't married or anything.

Quote:

What I'm saying is, if you love the girl... you might be better off going out with her when you're 21 than when you're 17... chances are you'll be able to hang around longer... so don't rush things.

What.

All I am saying is don't PUSH. Unless she comes knocking on his door, I would wait it out patiently. Like you said, there IS no real rush. THey're going to probably know each other for a long time, since they're going to the same college and all.

I would recommend just getting closer to her as a FRIEND than trying to rush into having a relationship with the girl. Let her ripen up a little bit.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by SMX

I'm not saying that you should make a move at this point, but the advice is in this thread is horrible. It's a one way ticket to the friend zone and blue balls land.

You know, being friends is more important than getting laid - especially if you're looking for a lasting relationship.

But hey - if he's looking for sex and sex alone, then yea. The advice sucks.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by SMX

I actually agree Sass.

But the fact of the matter is that the typical girl - especially around his age - have two very different connotations to friendships and relationships. He's going about it like the typical nice guy and as such, will probably end up getting the kiss of death ("I just want to be friends") just like the typical nice guy. You DO NOT want this. It it gives you false hope and make you grow tired and hateful.

Therefore, as a guy since we have to deal with this shit, it's best to establish romantic interest first and make friends later.

That initially sounds SO BACKWARDS to me, but upon thinking about it, I think you may be on to something.

I have no idea what this girl really IS like, though. My brain wants to label her as a sympathy whore, but she broke UP with the guy. So I am kind of FUZZY on her reading.

But if she has a romantic interest in him at all, it will come out eventually, right? I mean, how many guys are CONVINCED they can push their love on a girl and make them like him back? Its insane.

You can't CONVINCE someone to like you, guys. It won't work. ESPECIALLY with women.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by SMX

True, but remember that romantic interest is not binary. In otherwords, it's not like it's an on or off state. It's analog. It varies, a lot.

Ahahhahahahhahahaha, do you have a girlfriend, you fucking nerd.

(No. I really liked the metaphor. GEEK. ^_^ )

Quote:

The only way she's going to come on to him is if the interest was SO high, and frequent, that she can't take holding it in anymore.

Whats your reasoning, here??

Quote:

There may be a low (even to the point where it's not really conscious yet) level of romantic interest that's there with the girl. However, he has to invoke this romantic interest by some means. Otherwise, even if it's there, she's going to pass him off as not liking her 'like that.' Some other guy is going to come along, and the cycle of him being the her emotional whore to the other guy is going to repeat.

I would think spending plenty of time doing some rather ambiguous "friendlike slash date like" activities together would open a door to these kinds of feelings, yes.

It kind of begs the question of "where do I stand here. We're in some interesting territory, here."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by SMX

I admit not all girls are unwilling to express interest, directly (no stupid ambigious signals), to somebody they like. But most girls keep it in and just sit around waiting for the guy to make a move, especially when they're young and immature. So, unless the girl is just SO infatuated with the guy, she's probably going to chicken out and not say anything.

Well, yea. I guess the stupid girls do that. =/

But in all reality, I have no idea what this one is like. I almost ALWAYS see a glint of personality that can determine what a girl will do when a man talks about her.

But this one is SHADY, man. I don't know what to think!
The dilemma of every nice guy out there.

Quote:

I thought like this once too. But after ending up in the friend zone with friendships that seemed so perfect for a relationship, I sat down and rethought my position. So basically I just stop giving a damn about females feelings or forming bonds with them (initially) and just did/said whatever I wanted.

Ah, jaded. I SEE. But you know this guy isn't like you - nor as experienced, I imagine, so why advise him like he was your peer, you know?

Quote:

Sure enough, it got to the point where some girls started having secret crushes and got all giggly and shit over me. I have some theories on why this happens. But as a guy, after a while you just start to accept that being sexually enticing has to come first.

Depends on the kind of girl you're aiming your groin at, sir.

The "nice guy" approach sometimes works. But like you said, its definitely not foolproof. You take a risk - but without more knowledge, I can offer no more, you know?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Aequitas

When she had a crush on her latest (now ex) bf, she told me (in retrospect) that she was soo nervous about confronting him about it but after two weeks she built up the guts to ask him to the movies. So she seems to be the type that if she likes someone, she is willing to make a move.

To be honest dude, this probably doesn't bode well for you.

She probably sees you as a friend if she confides this to you - and she doesn't think you'll get upset or jealous.

Try working on the romantic aspect in those couple of weeks.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Aequitas

She told me this around a year ago when we were becoming close friends, it's not something she has told me recently. Does that fact make any difference?

I don't think so. Maybe you should try and investigate without getting WEIRD on her. If you can. ^_^

And yea, I don't know what she's like as a person. If you just went kamikazi on her ass and went for it, you might scare her off? I don't know, but if my best friend (who happened to be male) was professing his deep, dark secrets about how much he cares about me, unless the feelings were mutual, I would try to back away for a while and let him cool off. =/

I was speaking idiomatically.