Love or sex?

I am going to get soooo much shit for this, and I am very likely in the minority, but a person's general appearance/my attraction to them means very little me to begin with.

Before you guys jump all over me, let me explain! Please! ;_;

There was this guy once, right? I thought he was so goddamned attractive. I could stare at him all day! He was everything I ever liked, as far as looks were concerned.

Until I got to know his personality. And I didn't like it at all. This actually made me find him unattractive. No joke. I started to dislike that "attractive" look he had before I saw what kind of person he was.

On the other hand, I've met a LOT of ugly people. Really unattractive - people I would never consider myself being attracted to. Until they showed me who they were, and suddenly, they progressively became more and more attractive to me.

So I guess my argument is more about how a person can become attractive over time.

I'm not saying this because I am fat (though Nadi's post kind of made me cry inside). I am saying this because I genuinely think that peoples' minds are a hell of a lot more attractive than how they sell themselves on the outside.

I could chock it up to my being completely distrustful of anything I see on the exterior of a person.

Sex is VERY important, though. But like I said, a person becomes MORE attractive to me if they have a great mind. Even if they're a hideous pile of poo.

I think it's more of a progression for me. I don't really "find people attractive" like a normal person, I guess. I am INCAPABLE of looking at a person and thinking "God, I want to fuck them." I can not even CONCEIVE of the idea before hearing them express theirself. I wonder if this is abnormal.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by nadienne

I'm sorry, Sass. I wasn't referencing you in the least. Obviously, you don't have a problem, you're getting laid all the time. It was just the easiest thing to use--there are a fair number of guys who bitch about girls being fat. =/

No, no. No need to apologize. It's a tough world out there for us fatties. You gotta outshine that girl with a tight ass and nice tits, you know? It's tough competition! ^_^

I was sad mostly because I know it's mostly true, really. Not because of anything you said.

Quote:

You're not abnormal, I'm exactly the same way. I am not saying that I have to be initially attracted to the person's looks; I'm saying that there has to be...well, a spark. A spark that, for me, is driven much more by mind and personality than it is by physical appearance. Most guys don't get that, so simplifying it down to "you can't get off because you're not physically attracted to her" seemed easiest, because that's how they define "spark."

I'll totally endorse that. =D

Quote:

Most guys I would classify as "physically attractive" I won't even look at twice, because they're so insufferably boring--or worse, they expect you to admire them all the time. The guys I typically date are average looking; a couple would definitely be called "ugly" by most people here. A repartee, however, can get me worked up without fail.

It's a sad generalization to say pretty people are boring, and again, I'm pretty sure you or I would get flak for saying it, but I find it true.

I guess what I was saying was that you really can't know who you're going to love in life. Since love seems so sparse, why limit your possibilities based on attraction alone?

But to get back to the point, I don't think any healthy relationship will exist without some kind of sexual encounters. You should be attracted to your partner, but I think it's unrealistic to think that without a fondness and a love of your partner, they will be the most beautiful person in the world.

There's nowhere I can't reach.