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Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis. |
GFF is a community of gaming and music enthusiasts. We have a team of dedicated moderators, constant member-organized activities, and plenty of custom features, including our unique journal system. If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ or our GFWiki. You will have to register before you can post. Membership is completely free (and gets rid of the pesky advertisement unit underneath this message).
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I had some insane fuckin dude at my dental office.
"Hmm... What do we have here? Looks like we have a... Yup. It's a cavity." He immeditely sits up. "WHAT?! I HAVE NO CAVATIES! YOU PUT IT THERE!! I CAME IN WITH NO CAVATIES!!" Damn I can't WAIT to come with an infected tooth. ROOT CAANNNAAL! The worst is when you have these children who can't stop screaming. Some of them are real troopers who are going through major surgery, but some of these are just little brats who scream at the sight of a drill. Jam it back in, in the dark. |
I don't know how I forgot about this one. I was working at a UPS Store and it was Christmas Day. We open the store from 8 to noon on the holiday because we usually get one or two suckers who need an emergency roll of wrapping paper. It was about 4pm, and I was catching up with paperwork and accounting, when I heard a knocking at the door. I didn't bother to look at the door because I know that anybody who needs to be in the lobby for their mailbox has a front door key. The knocking turned in to a pounding, so I decided to see what they want. I unlock and pull up the gate and go to the door. She tells me that our posted store hours clearly say we are open from 8 to 6, Monday through Friday. I pointed to the sign that says "Closed Chirstmas Day to observe holidays". She then says "It isn't MY holiday! That sign is misleading and confusing." I sighed and let her in. She then started filling out the forms, and I booted up the manifest and cash register. She wanted it to go ground, I told her that it would be leaving the store on Monday.
"Why not today?" "Trucks don't move on holidays." "Why don't you just take your truck and deliver it?" "I don't drive a truck. I'm not UPS. I'm just one man running a store front." "Well, FedEx would do it for me." "OUT OUT OUT! OUT THE DOOR NOW! OUT OUT OUT! YOU LEAVE NOW!" I took her package and tossed it on her car. She chased after it, and I locked the door behind her. She showed up Monday to ship out the package, trying to hold her composure to seem like a nice lady, but I still tripled her rate. She shipped it. There's nowhere I can't reach.
"I can make a scalpel sing, but that is my gift. The gift is not in my hands, for you see, I can play the notes [on a piano], but I can't make music."
~ Major Charles Emerson Winchester III 4077 M*A*S*H |
How ya doing, buddy?
"I can make a scalpel sing, but that is my gift. The gift is not in my hands, for you see, I can play the notes [on a piano], but I can't make music."
~ Major Charles Emerson Winchester III 4077 M*A*S*H |