Opinions on a shitty situation needed! Apply Here!

Wall of Text Inc.
Ok, so I am going to tell you all a story about me and my currently ex-girlfriend. This is a girl who I have known since High School, she had a crush on me then and I was completely oblivious to it, and she was also dating someone at the time, and that relationship ended 2 years after we graduated.

At the time we started seeing each other she was still currently living with her ex-boyfriend and they were dating for 4 years. She broke up with him because she realized that he isn’t the one for her, and he was also a bit of a dick to her as well. So basically she had been broken up with him for a couple months but still living with him (rental contracts are fun!)

Speeding things up now, two years go by and our relationship is great, her whole family likes me and all of my family likes her, everything is just great. The last nine months or so we were living in our own place while she was/is finishing up college, and things are/were still going great, until last month.

Before I go on I will add a bit about her. She has had bad anxiety since she was little, she gets it from her dad’s side of the family and even he still to this day has bad anxiety attacks. I have seen a few of her really bad anxiety attacks and I will tell you right now I have no damn idea how to help her with them other than just trying to get her to breathe and calm down.

Now to continue, the last couple month things got worse, although I did not realize it because I had been playing on my computer far too much than I normally used to. Anyway, one day a few weeks ago she came home crying and said “we need a break” I was shocked, I thought things were going good, but they weren’t. She explained to me that she has been under a lot of stress lately (she is taking 18 credits and this is her final term, and all of her classes are in Spanish) and I haven’t really been there for her, as in I have been playing my games WAY too much. She also tells me that she can’t deal with having to take care of me (which at the time I thought was bullshit because we take care of each other) and deal with the stress of school and the fact that she is graduating soon and will be moving back near home to do her Master’s Program (basically a lot of life changes coming up) She basically asked me to give her space so that she can figure shit out. Now this is a pretty shitty deal, this is a girl I can honestly spend the rest of my days with, and she is asking me to be apart for a while.

Anyway a couple days after I am out she lets me know that basically she loves my family and she loves me and doesn’t see herself being apart from me in the future, that I just need to give her this time and space. Great news right? Yeah I thought so too but this is still a hard situation.

But now it is a couple of weeks since then and I have begun to realize that I kind of became a huge addict to computer gaming the last few months. So I start thinking that this is all my fault, I am not who I used to be, but she assures me that even though yes that was making things worse for her, she really needs space because of her high stress level, like she literally can’t fully commit to a relationship so she doesn’t want to feel like she is in one at the moment. Another thing she told me is that in her 4 yr relationship she needed to get away from him as well to figure things out but that didn’t happen and it just made her want to be away from him even more (although it wouldn’t have worked out with them even if it did happen, cause he was a huge douche cannon) So I am being the good guy here and giving her the space she requested.

It is very difficult for me though, because I am a “What if” person, and I tend to take a negative thing and exaggerate it a lot in my mind over time. I have told her I am going to make the changes that I need to make for myself so that WHEN we do get back together I will be myself again instead of a computer playing zombie. I am still talking with her and stuff and I am trying to make the right decisions here, but it is very hard being away from her. This “break” is one of the hardest experiences I have had to deal with. And I have had some pretty rough times in my past. (Such as taking care of my 4 younger brothers after graduating high school while my mother served a 1 yr sentence not a good thing for an 18 yr old)

So anyway I have realized that it isn’t only her who needs to work on personal things but it is me as well, and I have already began to do things that I used to enjoy and I have started to do things that will help with other things that we both like such as getting MY passport so we can travel together because wanting to visit other countries is something we have in common. I pretty much have another month ahead of me at least until she moves back her for her program. And I have also told her that I would be completely willing to start dating from square one again, instead of moving right back in with her so we can take things slow if she wants too.

I am just posting this because I want to get other people’s opinions on my situation who doesn’t know me or her. She has the counselor I have the coolest forums on the internet. I am not asking for a WHAT DO I DO!? I know that I have to give this time if I want it to work out, just looking for opinions and thoughts on my situation.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Philia

So my advice to you? Prepare for the worst. If she really wants change, she just might get it from another guy. Afterall that's what she just did when she met you didn't she? :\

I guess you can kind of say yes she got change with me when she broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years, but on the other hand she did already want to be with me since high school. I just was not available so she kept herself in that bad relationship. And in THAT relationship she had told me that she was trying to convince herself that it would work out, obviously it didn't.

But I mean, if this is genuine shit then isn't it good that she is trying to figure out her problems? And the reason I had to separate physically is because she would feel the need to be forced into a relationship, and with her stress it's something she says she can't commit too. She is also the kind of person who wouldn't string me along, if she found someone else she would tell me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

By your depiction of events, she's already figured out her problem.

You.

Consider your eviction the warning shot. If you stick around, the next bullet will penetrate flesh.

Yeah I guess that makes sense. But then again I am leaving out parts that are a bit hard for me to explain.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.