Cream of Mushroom Soup with Roasted Garlic

You'll just end up with a thinner, lighter soup.

Usually, the recommendation of milk in cream soups is there for a reason, but just adding water is not going to make it substantially worse, just less creamy tasting.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

You wouldn't want to do that. It is thick enough as is straight from the can. Condensed soups of the "cream" variety will not heat evenly enough if you cook it on a stove and will have a tendency to burn. Having some sort of liquid to make it more fluid helps it cook better.

Perhaps if you put it in a bowl and microwave it, heating it as is won't be so much a problem, but will require frequent mixing to ensure even cooking.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ah, just add some water and try it. You never know what's the right or wrong way to do it unless you do it. Granted, I never had this situation myself, but I would go right ahead anyway. At least you're eating something?

I think Campbell's has this "Soup at Hand" thing that is microwaveable and takes the guesswork out of everything. Check it out right here, they have Cream of Mushroom amongst the selection.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.