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This is where I become more concerned about the "meta-game." What's the point in playing a single-player game with endlessly repetitive battles that take on average 20-50 minutes to complete when there's no reward other than leveling up characters you hate (and yes I know you just "level up" stats) and getting digital items which you can't show off to friends?
The only thing intricate about the combat system seems to be its scale. Mostly you just set general commands and wait for maybe the special move that never comes when you want it, then sit back for 5 minutes while all your individual npcs do their poses before performing moves before the individual npcs of the enemy do their poses before doing their moves and your next turn comes around. I'm getting bored just thinking about it.
The tactical overlay map and flanking/lockdowns seem interesting but I just don't see how you could play 50-100 hours of that unless you were seriously hurting for a time sink. If you want to play a game that's tactically engaging with a story you don't have to care about there's a ton of strategy games I know you haven't played that I could recommend which would keep you busy for months coming to terms with all their intricacies.
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Because your friend probably didn't press "X" in combat, you believe that the commands are just vague. Doing so would have allowed him to see what all of his units were going to do. Moreover, how many units you have and what you have that unit perform determines what they do in battle. Each unit can have a specific function, strength, and weakness based on what leaders are in command, what units support that leader, and what formation they are in.
The further you get in the game and the more you understand about it, the more you'll realize that this shit isn't random and is fairly complex and engaging.
If it's a really convoluted version of solitaire and you've already said you don't like the sound of it, then what specifically do you want to know about the game? Just to address your previous issue. some folks don't play RPGs for the story, a really shocker I know but did it ever dawn on you that some folks just enjoy creating a plan and setting it in motion and appreciate the way these games allow it? For the one talking about "lol why so serious", you're really thinking entirely too much about something you refuse to participate in.
There's nowhere I can't reach.