Your Relationship with your Parents

Sure. I never noticed this thread. O.o'

But um... its kinda awkward to mention that I don't have parents at all.

Specifics are my mother was in college fucking around (literally) and one young guy (probably a freshman) and her geography professor were two of the maybes that may be my father. :\ She didn't bother to find out who of course til it became apparent to her that I was deaf when I was 2 years old. She remembered that the professor had a deaf teenage daughter and wrote a letter to him for a paternity test. Of course naturally being in his late 50s or so and married with a family and a career that could all ruined if he accepted to do it, so he declined just as harshly too. So yeah, and my mother was dumb enough to believe that if she brought me over THERE and showcased me to him, perhaps he'd change his mind. :\ He didn't and I don't even care, I'm sure he's just as a bastard.

Fast forward 11 years later, she died. From all the fuck ups she did in her life. Collective efforts of stds, car accident injuries, wrong meds, and fucking illegal drugs.

In that short span of years I had had with her, I never were close to her. She managed to raise me til I was five, she got sent to drug rehab and had to submit me and my brother to Grandma, her mother, to live for 4 years or so. I vaguely can recall the time when she came back from rehab, I was fucking terrified of her. I can recall the abuse even then. I hated her. Even when she was home for maybe a few years within that time, she was still abusive. Then that car accident happened. I remember she was in the hospital during my 8th birthday. She was blind as a bat and finally after like 3 car wrecks within that damn period of time (3 years! Minus the rehab period) she got her driver's license suspended for good.

And still as a wild child as she was, she managed to find a loser for a boyfriend and took us from grandma when I was finishing my 5th grade at school suddenly... even bought us toys to keep us entertained. I certainly remember that shit. Only lasted 3 weeks. And a year after that was sheer hell.

She blew so much money on drugs and probably methadone that me and my brother were starving. I imagine it was pretty much the back of her fucking mind about our welfare when she's just out there doing God knows what and to come home to what... to validate the fact she's a mom? I bet she got the apt and the food stamps because she was phishing the fact THEN.

So no, I hated her. I hated her fucking guts and it pains me that my family knows about her fuck ups and yet don't give a fuck about what happened to me and my brother during this time. I imagine they didn't know what happened... or it was out of grandma's hands but DAMN it.

Anyway, after she died finally, we moved back to grandma and I was 11 at the time. She was a terrific grandma for her age. I believe she was in her late 70s but she was pretty active and such for her age. She done a lot for us and I appreciated her a lot. I love my grandma a lot and it took a while for her to gain trust in me (I imagine she'd figure I'd turn out like my mom or my aunt or something). But I guess after she saw that I'm just a homebody, she switched tactics and try to push me out of the house to go out or something. This is like when I was turning 17 or 18 lol. I had no interest in guys in general... o.o' Just video games. LMAO.

Grandma and I still keep in touch today. Bless her heart, she's like a saint compared to the rest of the family members.

Jam it back in, in the dark.