Moving in with your significant other

Well, my boyfriend and I had a deep discussion about the prospect of moving in together and it hit an urge to post something here relavent to it.

I've moved in with someone I though whom cared for me deeply a few years ago (zomg, it's been 4.5 years ago already, no wonder I'm growing old), which in the end, didn't turn out so pretty. It was stressful enough as it is trying to get through school financially being on my own and trying to make a living with very little income (granted the house was his parents and rent was dirt cheap, that's beside the point).

What are your thoughts on living with your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee, etc.? What are your ideas of the pro's and con's? What were some of the benefits, the mistakes, the best and the worst?

Discuss...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Belladonna

My boyfriend and I do not live together but are planning to do so very soon. We work together and I see him for 90% of the day, weekdays and weekends. We do everything togther and although most people would consider that a badthing in terms of "getting sick of the other person", we've been together 3 years and it never gets dull. It's almost liek we do live together and people can say that, because of how much we see each other, it will ruin the relationship, I just laugh. No one knows how close we are and how much fun we have. He doesn't have to spend all that time with me but he does. He always wants us to go out and do something together.

You know, in your case living together might be a bad idea. I am the complete opposite to you; I barely see my boyfriend throughout the week. At most I'd see him 2 or 3 times a week to go to dinner or watch a movie once in a while. But we definitely don't see each other 24/7. Some days will go by with just a 2 minute phone conversation, and then we might talk for about an hour or so the next day. It depends, but it's sparce how much we actually spend time together.

My previous "serious" relationship started off like you; my ex and I would spend 90% of the time together, and for a good 8 months, we had our own apartments but were at each other's place every night of the week. However, once we've moved in together in the same house and shared a bedroom, things started to change. His living habits irritated the crap out of me, although it never really bothered me when I wasn't "officially" living with him.

Originally Posted by Belladonna

Just don't let anyone tell you otherwise and don't even bother looking at stats. It's up to you and your boyfriend to make it work. I'm sure you will do fine ^_^

Thanks. It helps to think that there's hope. But yeah, I think it might be safer to weigh out some options first.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Because a relationship isn't about fun alone. Its about difficulties too.

The stats speak volumes. But I don't think they're quite planning on getting married from what I read in the first post.

Couldn't have agreed better, Sass. I think a relationship is more valued from all the difficulties you over come rather than the "lubby dubby" stuff that people short sightedly go for.

And yes, we're not planning on getting married anytime soon. It's a matter more of perspective, sort of like a "what if?" thing. The biggest question we ask ourselves is "are we ready for this?" and usually, 7 times out of 10, the answer is more likely "no." In my case, I've already had a relationship go sour after living with someone, so I'm very hesitant to go through that again, even if I do know that circumstances are completely different.

What allures me to the idea of living with him is seeing him more often. I said before that I see him maybe 2 or 3 times a week (usually 2, 3 if I'm lucky). However, I think even if I did say yes if he asked, I'd still want my own room. I like having my space. I like having time alone in my room after a long, hard day at work. If I feel depressed, I like just the quietness of my room and just typing away or reading. I can't sleep with the light on. I can't sleep if it's noisy. I like my privacy when I'm changing clothes and I like to take my time about it. It's little things like that make me feel that my own space under a shared roof is more beneficial than completely jumping across the line.

Works differently for everyone. But yeah, I can agree with Sass that more likely you'll be surprised you'll run into a lot more difficulties than just the "oh I get to live with the man of my dreams" type fantasies.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by Hydelloon

And like How Unfortunate says, maybe you should test out the living situation with a short vacation.

Speaking of which, Jpshorty, why arent you around GFF as much ;_;

MMmmm, I'm not sure if the vacation thing can be used as a good measurement for how well you can live together. Typically while you're on vacation, you're not likely to have the amount of chores you have to do around a household. You have less responsibilities in a hotel compared to what you have at home that you're obligated to take care of.

And why I haven't been here is because for the last year or so there's been nothing to do for me except work 50 hours a week, go to school part time, play WoW just to talk to my boyfriend and some other RL friends, and then sleep. =P Lame excuse, I know, but it's nice to know I'm still remembered. Thanks.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Furby

here's my advise. Why not trying living with the other person for a while.. Ask his parents if you can move in for a couple of weeks just to see if you like it..

You do realize there's a big flaw in your logic, right? His parents? Consent to us living together!? ROFL. In lame-man's terms, that is a realll big no no in our case due to the fact that his entire family (all 100+ relatives included) are strict Catholics. Which means, no living together unless engaged/married.

However, like Max Biggs said, the point of this thread IS for discussion and to give some other people out there on the same page something to think about.

I think everyone in a relationship (especially college students free and away from parental control) between the ages of 18 - 24 experience something relative to this topic.

If I was sincerely thinking about this and wanted advice for my personal situation, then yes, I would put this in ANGST instead. Appreciate the input.

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