I'm amused thoroughly by this thread as well, but instead of attempting entertainment, I'll just share my own sentiments. I'm in no way a snob about my teas, but there's certain things I like certain ways.
I love coffee and tea just about the same. But like Deni said, it totally depends on my mood and what tea I have to drink.
Oolong: definitely one of my favorites as it serves as a valuable component to one of my favorite alcoholic concoctions/cocktails. Also good for cleansing out the digestive system when I haven't had enough fiber and is also fabulous hot or cold. I always keep a bag of oolong tea (loose/bag, doesn't really matter, preparation is mostly similar) in my cupboard. If I know I'd be drinking it to go with alcohol (shochu/soju, to be specific) then I just buy the bottled stuff.
Green: Darker (I should probably say stronger) and bitter it gets, the better. The teabag stuff is only to wash down meals. If I'm drinking GREEN TEA to enjoy it (to be "poncy" as Crash describes), then it better not fucking turn brown when it's prepared DARK. When I mean dark, I mean it turns the color of
this green. If anyone reaches for sugar in front of me in a Sushi restaurant where they serve REALLY GOOD green tea then I just close my eyes and restrain myself.
Lipton: I know I'm going to get bashing for this after being pretentious about asian teas, but I love this stuff. It has a nice color and tastes fine straight. Depending on my mood, I'll prepare it differently. I usually go for this if I don't like the choices they offer at a restaurant when I'm in the mood for tea.
Herbals: for when I need to relax... I usually reach for the non-caffeinated chamomile which is my favorite when it comes to tea that doesn't contain caffeine. If I can afford it, I buy the expensive loose ones that even has the flowers. I'll bathe in this if I can afford to. I also have a range of herbals I've collected as gifts from other people: Lavender, Blueberry, Peppermint, Vanilla Cinnamon, to name a few, and some are green/black tea blends.
Dried Persimmon Leaf Tea: My grandmother's secret recipe. I don't know what she does to it, but she takes leaves off of the Persimmon tree in her backyard and makes tea out of it. I don't know the process of HOW she does it, but she always has a stash and it's FABULOUS. I can't really describe it exactly, but it has just the right amount of aroma, smoothness, roundness to the flavor, slightly sweet, and also tiny bit bitter. I heard it has medicinal purposes but I have not seen for myself what it is exactly good for. My grandfather has been drinking this stuff for 60+ years and he was yelled at the doctor to stop playing tennis at the ripe old age of 78, so I assume that might have
some indication of its effects, but I have absolutely NO scientific proof to back up the medicinal claims.
Chai: I admit, I'm a n00b in this category and I like mine latte-style from Starbucks. Yes, you may throw beer bottles at me if you like. I need the nickels.
To me, tea's more of a cultural thing. Just like how my boyfriend's family can't end a dinner without some decent coffee and something that resembles dessert, I can't sit at a
kotatsu on a cold winter night without some tangerines and a hot cup of green tea.
Jam it back in, in the dark.