Moving in together.

Well, having lived with a boyfriend from age 20-21 after dating him for 8 months, I can say that my experience of living with a signifant other wasn't a good choice at all. Nor was it a particularly pleasant experience on my part.

1. I never had my own space, as we shared bedroom. The other "room" was his sister's.
2. He had a high expectancy for what I should do-- this made me feel very cornered.
3. We did have ground rules, but it was always disregarded with excuses, from both sides of the fence.
4. His family dog(s) were like our kids, so I had more responsibilities than I can handle.
5. I was too young and eventually couldn't handle the emotional burden of "living together." I was simply not ready for it.

I assume that you are currently in a much more stable financial, mental and emotional position than I was back then. I wish you the best of luck and as long as you both recognize that you need to make yourselves a priority first, that you need to live your life first, to be able to be accountable and responsible for your own self first before the significant other, you should be ok. Aside from that, small things and ground rules like BigHairyFeet said above...just make sure anything financial and dutiable responsibility is taken care of equally-weighed so that you don't have any argument over it when things go sour.

Note: Trash and dishes, no one likes to do. But offering to help with it once in a while or asking for help seems to alleviate the "who should do what" syndrome. "Hey hon, I'm taking out the trash; would you mind holding the door for me?" "Hey, can you help me put the clean dishes away while I wash these?" Visa versa works too.

Other than that... I think it would work better if you can be open / flexible about each others' schedules and don't try to control each other too much.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Philia

O.o' Shorty... was that boyfriend um Asian as well? If so, it kinda explains a lot. :\

Yep. He was pretty old-fashioned too and somewhat of a hypocrite.

I think Philia's positive experiences would help you most Stop Sign, rather than worrying about the specific details of my negative experiences -- what cornered me into an uncomfortable/miserable situation might not be the case for you and/or your girlfriend. That and I'd have to apologize that I can't give you details, since I've been trying to block out most of the misery/negative connotations of my memory of living with the ex boyfriend.

You need to figure out what would best work for you guys first, before listening to other people's experiences. It's like working on a project, you guys get together a big general picture first (you 2 talking), and then get some feedback from others and work on nitty gritty details (you know, kinda like, "oh hey, we haven't thought of that, yeah, let's try to do this").

At least you guys are getting your own rooms; that's the first and best choice you're making. Key rules to living with a significant other is: Responsibility, Space, Respect, and Rules. You can add in thoughtfulness and cooking for each other if the other party is coming home late and such activities as bonuses.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Senorita Preved

Also have a lot of sex, that seems to help.

Sorry, this one didn't help me at all. It made situations worse.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I don't know, it could be possible since it seemed like the more I got, the more I got depressed. That's just me though, so I wouldn't take it into consideration.

I was probably not mature enough to be living with someone at that time too. To be honest, I don't think I can handle it now either. There's way too much stuff I need to focus on myself before being able to live in an environment of having to consider the other person. =/

I don't think Stop Sign has that problem though; they seem to be mature (also age-wise) enough that they can prioritize what's important in the relationship and they've aired out what their boundaries need to be by communicating (most important!) already, so they're off to a right start.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?