Executive Decisions

Originally Posted by Acro-nym

My belief is that since their decisions directly affect my life and the lives of my siblings that we should get a say. Maybe we don't want some things to change. Maybe we like the dish sizes we have. Maybe we like a gas stove instead of an electric one. They confide in us for other things, like where to go on vacation or what kind of computer to buy. So why should these things be different? Why don't we get a say?

The stove you use doesn't matter. The dishes don't matter, etc.

You should pick your 'battles', and talk about things that matter ahead of time. If one or the other of your parents want to do something, they'll just go ahead and do it. If you've voiced a concern on the matter ahead of time, they can take that into consideration. If they go against your wishes, then it's for the best (at least in their mind).

Please note that when they ask you about things like where to vacation, you are not deciding where to go. You are giving your input before they decide where to go.

Also, what may appear to be a spur of the moment decision to you, may have been looked into for a long time. And a lack of communication between your mother and father may be less serious than you interpret it to be. A very large number of fathers couldn't give two shits what the stove is. So if they don't care, but if the mother cares, then it only makes sense to let her make the decisions on her own. The odd thing is her sons/daughters taking such an interest in a relatively trivial matter.

You don't know which stove to buy. You don't know the best vacation spots. You don't know which ISP to use. Etc. We've all been at that age, when you are starting to grasp such decisions, but been left out of them. That's one major reason people move out on their own, they want to live their life the way they see fit. You are free to do so when you are the one financing it, and the one which has to deal with the consequences of your decisions.

Jam it back in, in the dark.