I can't be alone in this.

Those who don't really care about things generally anoy me (Yes I see being apathetic and passive as very closely related). Take a stand on the things that matter, and for those things that don't, let someone else take the reigns. With anything, you should an opinion on it one way or another.

As an example of something trivial: Do I care where we go to eat? Not really, I can find something I like in most places. I won't eat at KFC, McDonald's, or Burger King, nor will I go to the same place all the time. I have an opinion on the matter, despite what may come across as passive.

If you are going to go out, but haven't any real plans, think about what *you* want to do, and propose it. Looking out for #1 is *not* an inherently unapealing trait. Be considerate of the other person of course, but think/do/say what you feel like. Don't hold it back, and if you haven't an opinion on something, damn well think of one.

It's easy enough to have opinions, not force them on others, and to get along well if both people in a relationship are willing to do so. You don't have to be passive, nor do you have to be 'bossy' in order to get along well. You'll only annoy those around you (whether they tell you this or not) if you go too far.

Sincerity and conviction are the most important things. In Lurker's Internet community example, it's insincere, and therefore they are hurting each other in the end.

Jam it back in, in the dark.