life issues and a new boyfriend, unsupportive mother

First to start off I am same sex oriented and this plays into some of my problems. a short time ago my long distant boy friend wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I did also. no dice, he passed away a week after. I was about to move to japan to be with him and then the Gods happened to find another use for him... As callous as it sounds i am over this and need to move on given my personality. The mother of my deceased boyfriend along with his sister and father (who to this day still think as family) are asking me to move on as they know my personality and need to be with someone. So that is some of my background.

Now to the present time, my cold hearted mother found out about my boyfriend passing and basically said it was the will of god that he died because our love was a freak of nature. In doing this she decided to set me up on a blind date that i did not accept with a devote Christian girl from a bible study. Long story short I met her for a total of 30 minutes and dislike her even as a human, My mother and I are no longer on speaking terms anymore especially in what she has done. BTW I am a devote Shintoist to make matters worse with the terms between my mother. No one else in my family including my father is opposed to my life style or religious affiliations.

I am in crossroads as of right now with work also, I am an electronics engineer by education as of now. I currently reside in Arizona temporally and am a German citizen. Now I ask the following because I have allot of options and want to see if anyone can use their wisdom as help.

Ok so first off I am looking to start a serious relationship and even though i am not shy in other situations I am when it comes to boys -_-. I am very submissive in relationships and seek the same. Well i have a crush of a friend from back home (a very long term friend) and according to my cousin he has a crush on me. We both are very shy and submissive and I am wondering what would be the most tactful way to ask him out. My last relationship had a very interesting way of unfolding (we were also long term friends from childhood) kinda we never ask each other out we just went out and one thing led to another. (so i have never had to ask any one out really)

Next on to my mother, I don't want to sound juvenile here but I am thinking of just severing ties with her what so ever. Any other solutions please post ^^. Emotionally i just cant stand it any more, the constant taunting and telling that i am going to hell.

Now onto a place to go... I am leaving Arizona as most of my friends are leaving and going other places from here during the holiday season to go live other places. Really the only reason i have stayed here was the people i cared for. But i will be back later to visit them in their new locations. I was given an offer to stay with one of my childhood friends in Japan (also a friend of my boyfriend). The passing has made her very sad and lonely as we were all really good friends. I really need to visit and I am thinking it best to stay with her and look for work at a previous employer in Japan ? also on the other side back home in Germany my family and friends are asking for me to come back, this is were i am torn. any advice in how to choose would be welcome.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

sorry bout my wording earlier, yes i do say that I am gay, damn proud of it also ^^. I just turned 21 and this is why i am leaving home, just finished post high school education thats why i am still at home. I don't listen to my mother at all, haven't since i came out when i was 16... But it i a real moral killer when you come home from work and here all the shit... As for a relationship, it is a need to be around people... not just a boy friend... after some deliberation and talking to my friend currently residing in japan I have ask here to become my room mate and she has accepted. So either I go to japan or back home to Germany. She is a dual citizen and doesn't mind either place. After reading this I may have been to hasty to start another relationship, being with freinds may just be fine right now. I am thinking now after some input that i would be better off with freinds for a bit before going into a relationship. The reason i like having a submissive other is because they match my wants in a relationship and it worked out with my last boy friend. I just have no need to be controlling or to be controlled by someone else. In an answer to the question of how my last boy friend died was respiratory distress caused by respiratory problems he had since a child.

As for the co-dependency problem i do acknowledge this, I can go for a few weeks on my own but thats the isolation that i can take. Any more then i start getting really depressed, i always grew up around freinds and extended family.

There's nowhere I can't reach.