Death visiting your life

Hmm...

When I was 8, my cousin died because of car accident. She was 17 I believe. I didn't know her to well, and I didn't cry at her funeral, but as the years passed I kind of get sad.

When I was 12, my sister gave birth to a baby that died a few hours later. That was such an awful night. I remember that night well. I don't like thinking about it.

When I was 14, the same thing happened to my same sister. She gave birth to a baby that died a few hours later. That event will always hurt me the most, because I actually feel a connection to that baby, her name is Lisette. And my sister showed me what she looked like. She was so small. Could probably fit in my hand and she didn't have a real color. I always cry thinking about her.

When I was 15, my uncle died. I felt sad, but I didn't know him too well, so I didn't really know how I should react. Tio Rodo. I do miss him. His death made my dad so sad.

I mostly felt sorry for my dad. Him losing his sister, then his baby brother.
I don't like to think about my uncle though. Because I'm so much more sensitive than I use to be and might cry...

My Granda died this year, but...I didn't really care.
I know that sounds awful, but it's the truth. I really didn't like that woman. She was so mean. Always calling me fat and making fun of me. I'm sorry, but I didn't care much about when she died. I saw her 4 times in my life. She lived across the world in Bolivia.

Oh well.

There's my story.

As far as dealing with losses, I don't know. It's been so long. I moved on, except for remembering every now and then..

Jam it back in, in the dark.