I can't live without my ______!

Quote:

A toothbrush and endless tube of paste? A nail clipper? A comb and some scissors for your hair?

None of these would make life worth trudging through, at least for me. If I am out on a desert island, with NO FUCKING PEOPLE, it seems kind of besides the point to do my nails, cut my hair and shave regularly just so the wandering sea turtles can admire it. Presentation isn't a biggie.

On the other hand, in the event that I'd become stranded on an island...this is actually a paradise. A real hermit can get away with not using bathroom utilities and do just fine. But he might need a light...

He cares nothing for his presentation; his long hair doesn't get in his eyes, his long fingernails he uses to crack open coconut shells and dismember crabs for eating. I am sure he would find life much more comfortable in this situation, without conventional toiletries. (minus the toilet paper) Seashells sound rather barbaric.

Moreso had he the ability to make fire, he would really be on his feet, so to speak. He would be able to roll cigarettes from the palm fronds above, and lazily watch as the oceanic sky turned from dusk to night...he could light fires for food, eating things that most people would pay 20 to 30 dollars to dine at Red Lobster. Sushi every night. Oh yea. Now I just realized what I NEED. Chopsticks.

(What am I even talking about?)

How ya doing, buddy?