IDENTITY CRISIS!!!

I've been going through a lot of things lately, and I think a lot of it has pointed to the fact that I don't really know who I am, or who I want to be. In technical terms, I hear that this is called an "identity crisis".

I feel that I've been really malleable lately, I guess, changing shapes to fit whatever role I need to fit in at the moment. I'm the studybug in class, I'm the goof-off in clubs, I'm open when hanging with friends, etc. But all of it feels "fake"; but I don't know what an alternative might be. I'm just left feeling really pointless and empty though as far as anyone can tell I'm doing just fine.

Apparently, this kind of thing is normal in adolesence, but I'm a bit past that stage right now, and I don't think I'm showing any signs of progression. I'm stuck. I literally don't know what step to take.

So, I'm sure that many of you have been through something similar, and some have even conquered this. Any advice or comments?

How ya doing, buddy?

As I don't like giving out my age here on the 'nets, I'll say I've been in college for a bit now.

Yes, I'm quite aware that there's "a time and a place for everything," but I believe that I'm way too wishy-washy for my own good. It feels like my personality is too inconsistent - even certain values and perspectives I hold shift wildly from time to time because it's what I feel is "appropriate", would get people to like me, or help me get ahead.

I think the main thing is that, over the past few months, that I've made discoveries about myself that have left more questions than answers. And as I've said, they've left me feeling utterly pointless.

I know that "trying new things" might help me get somewhere, but I'd be lying if I said I'm anything less than paralyzed with fear. I'm made some pretty stupid mistakes by doing things that I've considered to be done in the name of "broadening horizons". The thing is, everything I've done like that has been a mistake, most quite hurtful and damaging at that.

So know I sit here, staring at what I just typed, and note that one of my biggest problems is with fear. I'm guessing that this is the part where I "grow some balls" so I can move on with life?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

One of my main qualms about the situation is that I everything I do lately lacks depth or signicance to me, including relationships. They've really been suffering lately. In fact, it's gotten to the point where I'm uncomfortable addressing any of them about subjects like this. But I suppose I could go out on a limb and try.

While I'm on that point, a lot of the things I... thought... I liked to do, I've been losing interest in - inlcuding games and anime lolz. I've been so inconsistent in so many areas, which is why I'm bugged.

But perhaps Sass and valiant are right when they say it's just... growing pains or something? The only argument I have with that is that it feels like this has been going on way too long and I figured that I'd be adjusted to things by now.

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