Hey, Kurado. What songs do you hate?

Ah, hating songs. One of my favorite ways to get my latent anger out. So as not to mention repeats in this thread, let's go with Panic! at the Disco. I'm in a mood to pick on these little bastards today, so I'm calling them out for "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies". First complaint - the name. Naming convention amongst Post-Post-Hardcare has become such a bore in its attempts to seem significant by piling on words and words. I would've probably chosen "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage" if only I'd ever heard it.

Wait a minute, I HAVE heard it! In looking up the lyrics to see if there was ANY relation whatsoever between the 10-word title and the 320-word lyrics. Perhaps that's why I couldn't properly identify the song by the title - because there is NO relation between the title and text. And not even in a cool, poetic way, that is meaningful once you reach the end of the poem, spend a day pondering, "why did they call it that?" and then end up realising that it makes perfect sense. Yeah, so, we're switching to "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage", which has the single clunkiest title of any song I've ever tried to type repeatedely. Also, it sounds oh-so-important and significant, as if Panic! at the Disco had any right to stick their little noses up at you. Here's a conversation between P!atD's songwriter and someone who happens to be smarter than P!atD's songwriter.

"Ha. Read this title and gaze into my incisive, surpassing intellect and meaningfulness...ness."
"Dude, shut up. This shit doesn't make any sense with the fuckin' lyrics."

On that note: the lyrics are an absolute joke.

Originally Posted by The Only Difference BetweSHUT THE FUCK UP

First Verse:
Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time
Come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for me
Good, good now we're making some progress
Come on just tap, tap, tap your toes to the beat
I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue?

Chorus (2x):
Swear we'll shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young but desperate for attention
I aim to be, your eyes(heart&mind), trophy boys, trophy wives

Or, perhaps my favorite set of lyrics in the whole song:

Originally Posted by More of the same shit

Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be, your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be, your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, swear to shake it up

Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be, your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives

Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be, your eyes

Why is it that people with nothing to say harbor a common tendency to say nothing OVER and OVER and OVER?

Now, I've heard songs with poor lyrics that have redeemed themselves with superb musicianship. Loads of Classic Rock songs have sucky lyrics about sex and girls and, coincidentally, having sex with girls, maybe even drinking (and having sex), but because the lead guitar player was balls-out awesome, the song is well worth my time. What does P!atD bring to the table? Not a goddamn thing. The guitar hooks are unoriginal, and sound exactly like "I've heard that somewhere before." Particularly if you've ever listened to any Post-Hardcore band, or possibly the bands which inspired them, being earlier Post-Hardcore like At the Drive-In or whiny 80's Post-Punk and No-Wave. Yet P!atD have managed to take even marginally likeable bands like Fall Out Boy and simplify the formula ever further, at the same time as cluttering their basic power-chord music with incredibly unattractive melodies. The chorus, which gets repeated serveral times in a row via earlier case example, is riddled with leaps and other snares of melody writing that would make any person with but a shred of Music Theory knowledge wince and cringe.

Everything about "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage" is simplistic, redundant, and utterly uninspired garbage meant to cater to the vacuous, trend-whoring youth of our wonderful daydream nation. It absolutely pisses me off to no end that this kind of song becomes popular at the expense of actual, bonafide talents that will never hear their own song on the radio. P!atD are cheap rip-off artists, whose only contribution to music is to prove to me that somebody CAN do Fall Out Boy and make it sound worse.

Jam it back in, in the dark.