[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

"Hep me skeles! I make you free!"

Argumentus retreats towards the stairs as far as he can and prepares for a full defense.

Most amazing jew boots

"I try hep! You shard look owwie! Me sorry!"

Argumentus continues moving towards the staircase, finishing with another full defense.

FELIPE NO

Argumentus continues moving towards the stairs. If Argumentus is to die he resolves all others must die with him. Finishes with another full defense.

Most amazing jew boots

Argumentus is so deeply touched by Scary Bob's uncharacteristic selflessness that he experiences second wind.

Leaving the dragon to his impromptu slumber Argumentus makes his way as far up the stairs as he can.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus makes his way up the stairs to find his betrayers trying their best to deal with the hobgoblins.

He points to the soldier and marks him.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Quote:

Ray of frost at dragon, spend action point, another ray of frost

look at this dude he gonna get raped

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus moves to the southwest of the hobgoblin soldier, launching a reaping strike, and marking him.

Most amazing jew boots

Argumentus continues his assault with more reaping strikes.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Argumentus shifts north one space, and moves back a further two spaces with his back to the bed. Enough running.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The opportunity had finally presented itself, all of Argumentus's tactical retreats had been waiting for this time to shine. Argumentus rushes in on the prone dragon, dealing a reaping strike.

The red mist takes him.

Argumentus spends an action point
Argumentus performs Brute Strike on the dragon

How ya doing, buddy?

"OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE!"

Argumentus flails about attempting to shake off the searing swamp dragon vomit. In his flailing he inadvertently continues to strike the beast. Reaping Strike

How ya doing, buddy?

Though simple, Argumentus understood mortality and burning acid. He grateful to be alive.

Picking up a dead hobgoblin's sword, he slices open the dragon's midsection and begins an amateur dissection, investigating its stomach contents to find a present for his skeleton buddies.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Much as the brooch tickled his fancy, Argumentus understood he had no use for it in his line of work, handing it without a word to the Halfling.

Thinking of his skeleton buddies, Argumentus cuts out the dragon's liver, hauls it down to the raft, and pockets the potion while letting the liver float on the raft towards the grateful dead. Perhaps they'll enjoy dragon foie gras.

Argumentus proceeds to pocket 100GP and search the rest of the cavern for anything else of interest, running his big sweaty palms over its ancient stalagmites and etcetera.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Argumentus had always solved problems with his fists, and no amount of critical thinking on his part would even get close to finding a solution. He goes back up to rest and heal up before the party returns to the bow wows.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Not one to be left out of any fight, Argumentus follows Gabriel to search for the goblin. When they come upon the door it retreated behind, Argumentus attempts to open it the way he knows best how. (to do it)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

With all that unfinished business settled, Argumentus goes back to meet up with the kobolds.

How ya doing, buddy?

Argumentus could tell that the situation was deteriorating rapidly.

"WAIT!" He yells.

Argumentus makes sure to maintain eye contact with the kobold leader while pointing to the chalice.

"What candy do? Why you want it for?"

Use diplomacy

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"Hey little guy. Why you have big scaly in cell?"

How ya doing, buddy?

Argumentus felt bad.

So he moves to give the kobold a big hug!

Grapple

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Argumentus's efforts weren't paying off, so his short attention span redirected him towards other purposes.

Argumentus leaves the room and makes his way to the room with the jailed lizardman.

"Why you lock up, uh?"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus nods and draws a winking smiley face in the dirt. He goes back to the party before they move any further and swipes a piece of candy from the bowl before anybody notices. He makes an 'ok' sign with his hands and waits for the lizardman to put his plan into motion.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

The lizardman stares at Argumentus. He points at the lock on his cage, then pantomimes breaking something. Try as it might, the lizard cannot reach the lock from within the cage.

After a moment of long concentration, the lizard forces a single word through its crude jaws.

"Duhhhhhh."

Now the lizardman was speaking his language. Argumentus attempts a feat of mighty strength to break the lock.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

With all the kobolds dead, there was nothing left to do but root through all of their worldly possessions for anything of use.

How ya doing, buddy?

Argumentus splits away from the party in the meantime to pick some fights with the livestock.

I was speaking idiomatically.

"Talky moo moo want fight?" Argumentus beams at the opportunity. "Okeyleydoke!"

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?