[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Argumentus perceives the rat swarms's shift in attention between the sound of cracking skulls and the lacerations of tiny tendons. His sense of chivalry kicks into full gear, and nostrils flaring he positions himself between the swarm and Scary Bob.

Argumentus moves one space south of Rat Swarm

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Oooooh. Argumentus not feel so good.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus vomits the contents of the previously ingested goblin soup

Argumentus searches the crates for feel-good juice

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Argumentus pockets 50 gp and adorns himself with the crown

I lord fancypants now I leads you 'cuz I'm king.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Argumentus brazenly picks his nose

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus stretches out his mighty arms and lays him down for nap time on the remnants of a giant rat's nest, ignorant of the oozing monstrosity in the other room

FELIPE NO

Argumentus comes up swinging, the Dwarf long too gone to receive his wild swings. Hearing arcane languages spoken from an effete voice, Argumentus heads into the room to the south to see what all the hububalabooba is about.

Argumentus startled by suddenly being awoken experiences a healing surge

Argumentus moves into the south room

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Fear grips Argumentus as he spots the wiggling slime. Its jiggling translucency brought him back to terrible memories. Of grandma's jello. With the fruit in it.

Acting on pure instinct Argumentus grabs the nearest object and throws it at the slime.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Despite his limited faculties, Argumentus could grasp the relation between cause and effect.

Lifting the nearest table he heaves it wildly at the jellies.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Filth fever attacking his immune system and the exertion of lifting and throwing two tables has left Argumentus panting and sweating profusely.

With a broad stroke Argumentus clears a table and lies down atop it, gaining some well-earned rest.



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus's meaty palm smacks his face, barely missing a fly. The smell of rotting flesh and goblin excrement fills his nostrils as he comes fully awake.

"Stinky."

Argumentus lights a sunrod and moves into the Northern room, granting mercy on his senses. Argumentus finds Fescue displaying his sweet new duds.

"Somethin more import than fight oozies shifty man?"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Yeah, I savvy."

Argumentus bared a yellowed grin as he took Gabriel's shield and held it in front of his body with both hands.

Argumentus positioned himself in front of the doorway, legs spread and staring at the opposite end of the hall. The same stupid grin remaining a constant.

How ya doing, buddy?

Knowing what sounds like fightey words, Argumentus rushes down the corridor with shield up, stopping in front of the table.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"Lots! I dunno if dey all mad doe"

FELIPE NO

The stars twinkle and the planets align as Argumentus has a rare flash of brilliance. Moved out at the head of the party he is effectively cut off entirely from support in the immediate term. Backpedaling will not work since there's no reason for a group already so xenophobic to give chase. After weighing these options, Argumentus considers that a full blown assault is the best recourse and focuses on what he perceives to be the most immediate and significant long-term threat. All of these calculations occur internally, and Argumentus continues to drool profusely while making loud grunting noises.

Argumentus moves south, standing up from prone and performs surestrike on Nyra

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

That Drake was tough. Super-duper tough. Spotting a particularly sturdy piece of the now long-gone table, Argumentus picks it up in one sweeping motion, stomping in the direction of the drake and issuing forth an unsettling hiss. He winds up...

Argumentus picks up/equips table leg

Argumentus marks drake

Argumentus performs brute strike on drake

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus could no longer stand the smug disposition of his fellow human, issuing forth a terrible challenge:

"Hey you preetee boy you dummer than me I think?"

Argumentus begins a Passing Attack by striking wolf

Argumentus shifts one square southeast

Argumentus finishes Passing Attack on Human

Argumentus marks human

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Argumentus strikes Human cleaving into Elf

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus stands up from prone

Argumentus strikes human cleaving into Hieronymus

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Immune to any potential concussion, Argumentus has had just about enough of this smug human. He winds up his wooden stick with great force, knocking the dwarf in the noggin, and swings.

Argumentus strikes Human cleaving into Heironymous

I was speaking idiomatically.

Argumentus grew bored and began whiffing his mighty table leg. On accidental impact with the stone floor, the big stick proves to be not so mighty and splinters. Rooting through the "found" items, Argumentus pries the mace from the human bandit's cold dead fingers. Testing its balance and swinging it about satisfies all of Argumentus's expectations regarding the bashing potential, and a stupid grin crawls across his face.

His time at His Saint Morgen's Internment House For the Super Special has made Argumentus literate in words that pertain to his interests, but before looking through the Index of Edible Things for pictures, Argumentus spots the warhammer and tests his simple skills in its use.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Satisfied that the warhammer would do better for bashin stuff, Argumentus set about doing some "reading." Picking up Index of Edible Things Argumentus sat in the light by the throne. The priestesses at the old Internment House had instilled the view that reading with head wear was rude (caning rude), so Argumentus removes the crown and inadvertently places it on the crown-shaped depression.

FELIPE NO

Argumentus was oblivious to the Mage's trickery, his undivided and simple attention was focused on studying the illustrations of various yum yums.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Argumentus was engrossed in the Index. An illustration of a particularly delicious looking fungus causes him to drool uncontrollably, dampening the pages.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The thought of all that delicious algae was making Argumentus too hungry. He put the book down and approached the hole where the dwarf had fallen in.

"Short man fall down? You need hep short man?"

There's nowhere I can't reach.