Couple day or Single Awareness day?(V-day)

Just as the sun rises, I am going sneak out of bed to put on a pot of freshly ground coffee, and immediately tie myself into a spanking machine I have constructed out of an old exercise bike, oven mitts and Christmas lights. I will peddle as fast as I can all morning long until the sounds of spanked flesh and the smell of coffee wakes my girlfriend, at which point she will emerge from the bedroom to me sobbing uncontrollably in pain, naked and sweating.

The dog will start barking at me at some point just to sweeten my misery.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Donnie, you're out of your element

Every intent will be had to savor the last shot before I pop that heatsink.

This is what Valentine's Day is all about, folks.

There's nowhere I can't reach.