Funny things you've yelled in the theater

I like watching movies by myself or, at the very least, with a very small group of people in the theater, preferably spread apart so that I can concentrate on the movie. The trailers, I can understand because at least you can hope (sometimes successfully) that certain audience members will get that urge to yell shit out at random out of their system before the movie starts. As it just so happens, I'm one of these assholes who sometimes needs to purge a stupid comment. One such instance was when we went to see Transformers to a packed house on a midnight showing and one of the pre-show spots was an anti-drug commercial. But not just any drug commercial...

...TALKING DOG ANTI-DRUG COMMERCIAL!

I remember sitting agape when that spot played and it took what seemed like a good 15-20 seconds before the next spot started and the only thing I said out loud was, "What. A whiny bitch. You're just pissed because she didn't smoke you out.", to which a radius of 3 rows broke out into laughter over. Most things aren't always that successful but that one was the most recent one I could think of.

Originally Posted by Jessykins <3

Actually, that reminds me. One time I did yell during a movie, and it was at these teenagers who kept talking and giggling and doing their stupid teenager shit behind me. I forget what movie it was during, but I turned and said "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHITS!"

I got some cheers for that, but no laughs. No laughs at all.

You know, I always read sprout saying, "OH WOW MOVIES WITH A CROWD FUCKING WIN AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION RAH RAH RAH."

Man, FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Last week I went to see Wall-E for a matinee show. The theater was kinda dead so I sat in the middle. Soon after I made myself comfortable, a family of 6 came in and sat down 3 rows in front of me and quieted down as the movie started. Then a group of 6 kids about high school age who probably haven't been blown by their moms yet sat down DIRECTLY BEHIND ME. OK... There's plenty of room in the theater, but you sit BEHIND ME.

It's OK. I can deal with this.

20 minutes into the movie these cockless prats still won't shut the fuck and, since they were cursing quite out loud even the family sitting 3 rows in front of me could hear them and I would occassionally see the dad turning around as if to tell them to shut up. Yet he said nothing.

Finally, I took initiative and since I figured the kids had already heard enough profanity I figured a couple more expletives weren't going to traumatize them for life. I just turned and said in a coarse undertone, "Are you niggers in an Oakland theater or what? SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALREADY."

Didn't hear a peep out of them after that because they left the theater.

After the movie was over I caught the family that sat a few rows ahead and apologized to the family for using profanity around their children but the dad just said, "It's alright. I was getting tired of those punk kids."

So was I, kind sir. So was I.

How ya doing, buddy?