If you want it, steal it!

I stole a keyboard and mouse set from my last job. I figure that the set is worth about $99 and I'm still owed $300 for hours worked that were never paid. I think I need to steal something else. Like the boss' car for example.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by *AkirA*

The key is to not act like your stealing. Just roll with it.

If only all us Mexicans had this gift. Instead it's like we're genetically predisposed to have a guilty stamp on our forehead...

Right next to the nopal...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by *AkirA*

Its because your a minority. When shit comes up missing your already dead in the water.

I think you're referring to black people. Seriously man... When was the last time you saw an internet meme that read BEANERSTOLEMYTV.com?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by tommboi

i think stealing is awesome. i've stolen ipods, psps, nintendo handhelds, digital cameras etc from my own friends and i don't feel any guilt from doing it. if i can do it without getting caught why not?

I used to have a "friend" who thought stealing from his own friends was "awesome" too. I took his ass 30 miles out of town on a cold winter night and 3 other friends and I beat the shit out of him and left him stripped down to his socks. Why couldn't he steal from OTHER PEOPLE'S friends? At least he was wise enough to return my watch; that shit was worth more than his life was.

Also, with all this talk of stolen bikes it reminds me of how it is at UCSB. I guess there's a college-wide unspoken agreement that bicycles are EVERYONE'S PROPERTY. I was walking with my friend Eddie's then-girlfriend to one of the dorms to pick up some books she'd left with a classmate and on the way there she just picked up a random bike and rode it to the dorm. I was bewildered as to what the hell she was seemingly stealing a bike but then she dropped the bike at the door and when we left the dorm she picked up a different bike and rode that one home. When we got to the apartment she just left the bike unlocked in the parking lot and I just asked, "Kris... Are you not gonna lock that?" She just said, "Nah... It'll be gone anyway and I can just grab another one tomorrow."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Fatt

It's... Like stealing a bible from a church!

Blasphemy!

See... I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about stealing a bible from a church. It's like swiping a Benjamin from a bank. You know they have a stash of them in the back and that shit won't hurt them in the least bit.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by ramoth

He's a fucked up kid.

Are you kidding me? It sounds to me that the kid is a genius. Although I'd really question whether or not lining a backpack with copper will actually successfully scramble the anti-theft detectors.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

So I would wait until the kids were asleep at naptime and go into the kitchen and devour as much food and juice as I could in a couple of minutes, because I was deathly afraid of getting caught and I didn't want to be in there too long.

You know... I don't know if I would go so far as to call that theft. That was necessity and I really wouldn't hold it against you.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?