Drunken excursions

Um, being part of a co-ed frat, I can't claim to have not had my share of alcohol and more then my fair share of drunken revelry stories.

I am the exceedingly happy, don't give a shit drunk (though to my credit, I am not the worst in my group... I can count the times I've gotten very drunk on one hand, and I've never had a blackout). The one time I booted, I discovered that jungle juice does not taste good coming back up. The more drunk I am, the better I am at beruit (also known as beer pong with quarters for you ping-pong-ball-users). The combination of a full bottle of wine, some beer, and a white russian does not equal a fun morning after. And there is no rules against using cleavage to occupy masculine opponents during a game of beruit. There was one time, however, when my beruit partner (a good friend of mine) was exceedingly drunk, and decided that cleavage wasnt doing enough, shouted "You need to show 'em something they haven't seen before!" and tried pulling down my pants. The result was a knee to his gut.

Then there was the time I had to drive a ridiculously drunk brother home, because he had decided to drive to a party and would have had to leave his truck there if I didnt drive him... only a few weeks later did I learn that there had been a few kegs and several 30-racks in the back of his truck... and I'm underage.

And the friend who couldnt figure out why the door wouldnt open all the way, or why there was a sudden pain in his head everytime he TRIED to pull the door open... he was trying to open the door and was too drunk to notice that his own body/head was in the way.

I have way too many of these stories... and the sad thing is, I was sober for most of them...

Jam it back in, in the dark.