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Oxymora are intentional, they're a rhetorical tool. I think people just like to use the word "oxymoron" because it's such a great scrabble word. Which it is. But "Death is absolute and you will regret it" isn't an oxymoron no matter how you look at it. It could be a contradiction if death precludes regret (or regret precludes death). But you don't know that, either.
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Oh shut up. Get off your high horse and laugh at language once in a while.
I look at it this way: a girl just told me that she doesn't like me an hour ago. I've had her on my mind for a while, and now I'm sad. Am I going to kill myself over it? God no. If not her, someone else, and I'm definitely not going to start altering my personality (or considering such) just to please someone else. Killing IS absolute, and I simply cannot ever see any reason why I would do this, even in a partial state of depression.
Deni's treatment is right on: a good old fashioned slap in the face, which is what most of these advice questions need.
Jam it back in, in the dark.