Losing a Loved One

During my sophomore year in high school, my dad's cousin died. It's kind of a of horrible story, he was pretty crazy and he lived in a shack in ghetto Taipei and liked to collect massive amounts of trash (old newspaper, empty bottles, glass, etc) in his house. One day, the piles he made all around his house collapsed on him and he was pinned under it for 2 weeks before anyone found out. Well he ended up dying later on because of some horse foot disease he got from lying in his own fecal matter for 14 days. My aunt came back to America with his ashes,we buried him in the family plot, and that was my first funeral.

I didn't even know him that well, we met the couple times I went to Taiwan but that day, I broke down. I was bawling so much, I was the one person who cried the most at that funeral. I think it was a realization that people do die and I was so scared that someone close to me was going to go next. I still worry about that, to this day. If anyone close to me leaves, I'd fall apart.

And Chibi Neko no one looks down on you for feeling that way about your cat. I have a dog and he's seriously one of my best friends and I don't know what i'm going to do with myself when he dies.

Man too much thinking about death. I'm fucking depressed now.

How ya doing, buddy?