[Classic] Manhogan Fantasy V: Because CHz really, really hates himself

Welp. I've never finished FFV but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand around idly when I could do something stupid and masochistic instead.

You know I'm in.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Alright, Grundl and company have made it through Tule and the Wind Shrine with minimal incident, let's see what we get...

Additional Spam:
Hahahaha I keep forgetting the rest of the forums don't have dice. Regardless, purple d6 on my desk says all-White-Mage-party is a go. I get the impression it could be a lot worse.

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Garula nearly took me down, hilariously low on MP after pounding away with our curly sticks at 20 HP/pop for half an hour. Whatever the water crystal gets me has to be an improvement in damage output if nothing else.



Well. Well okay. I've heard nothing good about Berserkers but I can't complain about their damage output. Hey, what's this? Water tower? Just a bunch of frogs, apparently. FALL LIKE WHEAT BEFORE MY GRUNDZERKING



Welp. See you again in like 10 levels, Shiva. Fuck.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Hate these things.



Hate pretty much everything about this dungeon.



Hate switch puzzle.



This guy's basically cake, though, after a couple of hairy rounds where he just keeps spitefully murdering Faris in particular over and over. Also, pulling my mages out of the back row, which is just petty.



What's that, fire crystal? You want ninjas? Well, okay. You're a good friend, fire crystal.



Pointless...



Yet oddly satisfying.



FULL TILT ALL DRAIN ERRYDAY OFF THE RAILS

Additional Spam:


oh right I have this flame scroll and two throwin' shit specialists problem solved

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The EPIC CHALLENGE of the game has basically melted away in the face of my Secret Ninja Techniques, slowed down only slightly by Having To Endure A Dragoon, so— not much to report. I'm sure things will ramp back up, but for now all I got is this basic status report.



Dual-wielding Berserkers performing Sword Dance are basically like treasure

EDIT: Cancel all smuggery, Fork Tower handing me my ass several times simultaneously

I was speaking idiomatically.

CANCEL PREVIOUS ORDER RESCINDING MAD SMUGGITUDE

FURTHER: ADDITIONAL SMUGGERY INCOMING

Real talk, getting White Mage for my first job is basically The Reason This Was Even Possible, Dragoons are some useless shit but it don't even matter what your class is when you can just queue up four dudes in Hermes Sandals to just puke out tons of Holy on the faces of suckas. Not gonna bother with the optional bosses, since all it would get me, apparently, is more weapons.

As I mentioned this was my first real attempt at completing FFV. Last time I tried it was a shoddy-ass translation of the SNES rom, prooooobably before I even joined GFF. Don't think I even got to the first crystal. So, now that I've given FFV its due, I gotta say: I was missing out. Yes, it's a JRPG, with all the linear tedium and grinding that implies, but as JRPGs go: not fucking bad. It's not Chrono Trigger (what is), but it's probably become my second-favorite of the franchise, right behind FFVI. It takes the OH BOY, CRYSTALS plots of the previous games to the logical conclusion and gives the future entries the go-ahead to do new things, since it took the CRYSTALS! idea about as far as it could go.

You done good, Final Fantasy V. You done real good. You were a JRPG I didn't hate.

Might go ahead and get a second run going, see if I can lap y'all.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss

Were you playing the game sped up or do you just genuinely have a lot of spare time? Honestly just curious here.

Didn't keep tabs on how much actual time I put in versus what the ingame clock says, but if it wasn't a boss fight or exposition I pretty much had a thumb on the fast-forward button, yeah. Grinding is a lot more tolerable when you can do it at 1000% speed.

(Also the first thing, also, yes)

FELIPE NO

Fuck it, let's get back on the horse.



ALREADY OFF TO A GREAT START



Surprisingly useful, since it does back-row hits at full strength. YOUR AMBUSHES MEAN NOTHING, I HAVE HULK HANDS



Sarcasm isn't really helping.



REJECTION



Hahahahhaaa totally got her the third time though



Magissa and Forza go down no problem, though. Having a class that can actually figure out how to wield a damn sword is so refreshing.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Look, I'm not sure if you can help him or not, but just don't. Bird's an asshole.



This fight is pretty effortless thanks to a bunch of dangerous lunatics in domino masks feasting on his blood.



Decided to do Random this run, but got a Water job anyway. Sort of disappointed that I'm going to have access to Cure spells again.



"Let's wait to see if he comes back, first."



Destroying a Dog



Fuck you, you're not pinning this one on me.



Did I learn? Did I not learn? The question of whether I learned remains.



THROW ICE AT IT, THIS WORKS FOR SOME REASON.



Random means I can get jobs from the old crystals instead, and... do I. Do I ever. There may be a limit to how much access to Cura will help me.



ROYAL REJECTION

How ya doing, buddy?

DEMONS HATE ICE CUBES



Realized I needed to grab this when 3/4 of my party was level 20 and Lenna was like 16 XP away. MANY A QUICKLOAD KEY WAS PRESS'D THAT DAY.



QUIT FUCKING WITH MY HEAD FARIS



DON'T YOU EVEN KNOW THAT



Did you know if you put water on desert animals, they die instantly? They live in the desert because they hate water! It's true!



YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LENNA



Don't take care of them... as you... can not. So I should... continue to not take care of them... in the same way... that you didn't? That is, in the way that you didn't take care of them, not in the way that you didn't not take care of them, which you didn't, as you opted to not take care of them rather than avoiding not taking care of them. Or, like, you can't take care of them on account of being dead, so I can't not take care of them in that way specifically, but, in general, not taking care of them, sure, I can do that. Cool deal.



Sorry, I just promised a dying man I wouldn't take care of you. Word is bond.



And Random mode gets us our fourth job. Our. fourth. Oh man. Oh god, oh man. Oh god, oh man. Oh god oh man



Don't be good, but don't get into too much trouble either. Use your discretion. Like, if I see some graffiti and broken bottles when I get back, rad, but I'd better not have to bail you out.



OUR ALLIES DEMAND MAXIMUM HYPE



Plants also hate water. I'm solving pretty much all my problems by dumping buckets of water on them. Aqua Breath, you so dumb.



A-ha! Everybody else has blown it, but not me! But it's my big chance! I'll blow it real good, you wait and see!



(It's done with Dark Spark and L5 Death.)



Not really clear on your goals here, just gonna put half of you in the sub and let you figure it out on your own.



totally worth it



There are some problems Aqua Breath cannot solve. These problems are solved by dedicating half your party to full-time Desperate Healing. You may call Faris a Bard, but I'm sure pretty sure she's just a potion caddy.



Shut up grinding for those Reflect Rings was not a waste of time what do you know



Oh hey Exdeath can I cast Aqua Breath on you? Oh that's not doing much is it, huh. Hmm. Hmm. Why would you even have so much HP that's not okay!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

And then I try again and Exdeath basically stands around scratching himself while everybody pours potions into Lenna, God's Own Aeroga Machine. Welp.



I TOLD YOU NOT TO HELP HIM



Yarr harr fiddle-de-dee.



Guess what happens when you Mug one of these jokers before performing The Aqua Breath Procedure? They become a tedious goddamn nightmare because their life totals refuse to ever sync back up! RAD!



Zephyrus is by far the worst enemy in the game. THE WORST. Not especially dangerous. Not especially complicated. Just. THE WORST. But they summon Tunnelers, which I need in order to learn L3 Flare since fuuuuuuck grinding Red Dragons back in Exdeath's castle. NOPE.



Melusine isn't immune to Confuse and that's hilarious.



And the Red Mage is practicing Doublecast
As the Blue Mages slowly get Doomed
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call Ether
But it's better than drinking alone

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Ayup. Gonna TRY to take on the superbosses this time, but a couple test runs don't leave me feeling good about my chances.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?