[Multiplatform] Burger King of Fighters XII - Free with large Whopper meal

Please. Do you really need a story for the new KOF?

Ok, I'll write one.

Ahem.

Originally Posted by KOF XII Leaked Story Mode Details

NEW EXCITING COMBAT ADVENTURE ARRIVES

MYSTERY INVITATION?!?!

CAN YOU SURVIVE THE VIOLENT

KING'S FIGHTING TWELVES BEGINNING RIGHT NOW

(wait for the player to win three fights)

WHO IS THE PROGENITOR OF FIGHT BATTLES?

A DISTRESSING MESSAGE OF SHADOWY GUY

"FU FU FU FU FU"

WHO WAS THAT?

(three more battles, and: )

THE SECRET OF FINDING IT OUT IS CLOSER

WHO IS BEHIND THE DEADLY

WAS IT

RUGAL?

FU FU FU FU FU FU FU I AM DEFINITELY NOT RUGAL

(3 more fights, then)

BOSS FIGHTING TIME

WE WILL NOW DISCOVER THE SECRET WITH PURE FIGHTING SPIRIT

GOD DAMN IT RUGAL I KNEW IT

"I DID FOOL YOU"

"RUUUUUUGAAAAAAL" I SHAKE MY FIST

"MY NAME IS RUGAL BUT I AM A STRONGER RUGAL THAN BEFORE YOU CANNOT BEAT MY NEW RUGAL TECHNIQUES OF FIGHTING"

"WE WILL DO THAT ANYWAY"

(they fight)

"RUGAL WE DID BEAT YOUR EVIL SCHEMING"

"OR.... DID YOU?"

(fight against RUGAL POWEREDUP VERSION)

"RUGAL SERIOUSLY GIVE UP NOW THIS IS STUPID"

"OKAY I WILL STOP FIGHTING NOW FOREVER"

"THANKS"

Character Endings

Athena remains famous and popular

Mai flirts with Andy and is rejected

Benimaru acts like a total fag and everyone is like "what a fag"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

"I hope the character composed entirely of ambulatory boobs doesn't come back!"

"FUCK YOU I LOVE AMBULATORY BOOB-CHAN."

"But... she's just an ambulatory boob, there's no reason to—"

"YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND MY HEART."

How ya doing, buddy?

Yeah, I was done about 9 hours ago

You can stay mad if you want though

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well, theoretically, if you could replace Honda with a character who played similarly but didn't have a hilariously generic design, why not?

Other than misplaced nostalgia, I mean

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Mai has kind of a shitty design."

"Design isn't everything, E. Honda's design is also not great but that doesn't mean he should be eliminated."

"E. Honda's not perfect, so why not try to improve on his formula as well?"

"STOP TRYING TO SCORE WIT POINTS AGAINST ME, PANG. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS SCORE POINTS!!"

What the fuck, man.

Just. What. The. Fuck. Look, how about this. Why don't you go ahead and just, like... I don't know. Go ahead set me to Ignore, or something, because there is this totally incomprehensible gulf between the things I say and the paranoid way you choose to interpret them.

Christ.

I'm not even going to try to address the notion that a game comprised entirely out of hitboxes and nothing else is somehow just as good.

I was speaking idiomatically.