[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Gabriel smashes the dire rat with ease, sending it sprawling and bloodying it badly.

9 damage to dire rat north

Motsognir races to the aid of his more lightly-armored companions, dealing the southern dire rat a solid blow and bloodying it.

5 damage to south dire rat

Argumentus, for his part, discovers the inherent difficulty of crashing into diffuse clusters of moving things — and receives more bites for his trouble.

9 damage to Argumentus from swarm proximity: HP 8 (badly bloodied)

New round! Initiative Order: Fescue, Gabriel, Argumentus, Bob, Swarm, DR South, DR North, Motsognir, Slime, Giant Rat



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Overkill
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Overkill is the use of excessive force or action that goes further than is necessary to achieve
its goal. For example, using a sledgehammer to crack a hazelnut, or shooting an ant with a
rocket launcher would be overkill.

11 damage to Giant Rat, killing it. Killing it a LOT.



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Gabriel Sledgehammer aims a killing blow at the blood-drooling rat, hoping to put it down for good. His cause is just. His will is strong. His weapons are potent.

His hands are kinda shaky.

The fighter can do little but try to catch his breath. He manages to brush off nearly all of the rats that plague him, but is it enough?

Argumentus takes 3 damage from ongoing rat effects, then gains 8 from his healing surge: 13 HP



I was speaking idiomatically.

The daggers wheel viciously amid the rats, hewing many of them apart and eliminating nearly a third of their number.

11 damage to rat swarm

Fleeing the daggers, the swarm rushes toward Scary Bob, who seems a much softer target than the Argumentus. They accomplish nothing other than further damaging his raiment, whilst the fighter crushes a few stragglers under his boot.

4 damage to rat swarm

The south dire rat attempts futilely to gnaw through Motsognir's boot, while its cousin tries to lunge at Gabriel's throat. Weakened as it is, it only manages a clumsy hop that ends in a head-first collision with a shield.

Whilst reassuring Argumentus, Motsognir's axe cuts through the enemy and into the floor, throwing up sparks. The rat won't be going anywhere in a hurry with its bowels hanging out.

Argumentus gains 13: 28 HP total. 8 damage to South Dire Rat

No longer able to perceive any living prey, the jelly begins quietly absorbing the fresh corpses scattered about the stewpot.

New round! initiative order: Argumentus, Fescue, Gabriel, DR North, DR South, Swarm, Motsognir, Bob



What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Although both the swarm and the dire rat snap at Fescue as he passes, it is futile. The rogue's blade cleanly severs the rat's head from its torso.

9 damage, hurray



FELIPE NO

The hammer splatters the rat in all directions, leaving a bare spot on the floor ringed with rat offal. A terrified squeeee hangs in the air.

The swarm, divested of its larger cousins, escapes from the cloud of daggers before harmlessly chewing on the obstructing Argumentus.



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The axe easily hews through the handful of rats it actually connects with, but does little damage to the swarm as a whole.

2 damage

Scary Bob once again manifests a relentless whirlwind of daggers into the midst of the swarm, destroying so many of the remaining rats that the few survivors finally disperse.




Battle Complete! Party gains 400 XP (80 XP apiece)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

A search of the remaining intact crates in the rat room reveals a broad brass crown, inlaid with a small emerald.

Also, 250 GP, but that doesn't lend itself to self-indulgent prose

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As the wizard sprints past it, the jelly finishes its meal of goblin and briefly trundles toward the western door in curiosity before noticing two more abandoned corpses in the next room. Squeezing through the doorway, the ooze gets started on lunch.

I certainly hope no one intends on retrieving the gems from the hatch now.



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus falls swiftly into a deep and untroubled sleep.

Fescue manages to escape the range of the jelly's perception without drawing its notice, and examines the northeastern door:

Unlike all the doors so far encountered in this place, this one is built of solid iron and is securely locked. An arrow slit lies open down the center of the door, and through it you can see an empty corridor, about 35' long. On the opposite end there's another door of identical construction, and the flickering of candlelight is visible through the far slit.

The jelly shuffles forward onto the last of the corpses.

I did give a description of the room at the start of the rat fight. It's just a bunch of ruined crates and barrels mostly

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

After a handful of failed attempts, Fescue eventually picks the lock. The door swings open, and as the thief peers into the corridor the arrow slit in the far door fills with shadow. A split-second later, a bolt flies over his head.

A guttural voice calls out: "That was a warning, boyo. Why don't ye head on back wherever ye came from, before I make a new quiver out of yer hide?"

Meanwhile, Scary Bob provokes a biological terror four times his size in a fit of misplaced bravado, meaning it's KOMBAT TIME.

Initiative: Scary Bob, Fescue, Motsognir, Gabriel, Jelly (Argumentus is asleep: waking someone up is a standard action.)



I was speaking idiomatically.

The caustic arrow sinks deeply into the blob's translucent form, but the acid seems to do little harm.

11 damage

The stranger responds to Fescue:

"Och, no. We're not going to discuss this. Every week there's some new jackanape trying to get past the door. I shoot at them, and they beg me to let them in. And I say 'Well, why do you need to get in for?', an' they always give me some line about they're hungry or they're tired, the usual sob stories. And ol' Jakob takes pity on them, an' what happens? They've got a dozen goblins up their arse, or skeletons in their sleeping bags, or some other such rubbish. Every time. And then who has to clean up the mess? Aye, old Jakob. Well, not this time! You just head back the way you came, and take whatever trouble you brought with ya!"

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The hammer sends a violent ripple through the jelly's undulating form, spattering gobbets of muck about the vicinity.

Critical: 8 damage. Bolstering Strike is melee-only, sorry. Also I'm pretty sure you only have the one throwing hammer.

Compelled by the paladin's challenge, the jelly heaves its massive bulk at Gabriel — but he sidesteps it easily.

New round! Initiative order: Fescue, Bob, Argumentus, Gabriel, Jelly, Motsognir



FELIPE NO

"Bribery, now?" booms the voice. "I think not. There's naught to buy down here and my greed is a small thing compared to my enthusiasm for staying alive."


The vicious beam boils away at the jelly, and an odorous steam rises into the air. Its heaving pulsations seem, for the time, a bit weaker.

12 damage, jelly is weakened.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Roaring with primal rage, the hulking fighter lifts a table over his head and sends it flying over the startled Motsognir. Dishes scatter everywhere, and the table flattens the jelly with a squelch before bouncing into the far wall and smashing into splinters.

17 damage



Jam it back in, in the dark.

The crashing strike of the warhammer rips through the center of the creature, splitting it in two.

13 damage

The twin jellies slam mercilessly into the suddenly-outnumbered paladin, bloodying him.

12 damage. Gabriel's HP 15



There's nowhere I can't reach.

Gabriel's HP 22. 7 surges remaining.

New round: Gabriel, Motsognir, Fescue, Bob, Argumentus, Jellies

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The furious dwarf's hammer rips cleanly through a massive chunk of jelly, spraying it upward onto the ceiling where it dangles like a cluster of wobbly stalactites. What's left of the slimy abomination wriggles frantically, seemingly insecure about its chances.

12 damage to North Jelly; bloodied. Gabriel's HP 29, 6 surges left



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Nearly half of the northern jelly is hacked away, and the remaining blob of pitiful plasm is reduced to a feeble quivering.

6 damage

I was speaking idiomatically.

The chilling ray strikes squarely, its icy grip spreading throughout the whole of the jelly. It can barely move at all.

Critical Hit! 9 damage.

The fighter hoists another table and (despite the odds of another such improvisation succeeding again) flings it southward. Against all reasonable expectation the table is once again on-target, splattering the jelly beneath it into a pitiable smear on the flagstones.

9 damage, northern jelly killed

The remaining Jelly thuds sluggishly against Gabriel, dealing him no significant harm.

4 damage, Gabriel's HP 25

New round: Motsognir, Bob, Fescue, Jelly, Gabriel, Argumentus



What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Motsognir's axe cuts cleanly through the jelly's middle, splitting it in two!





...but then both parts stop moving.

11 damage, jelly killed. Victory Get! 300 XP (60 XP each)

FELIPE NO

The boxes are old and fragile, but with some caution they can probably be moved without incident. The boxes are about 4 feet square, large enough to provide light cover but awkward for a normal person to lift alone.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Day 2

The party settles into an uneasy sleep, the bodies of many enemies still cooling all around them. While no further conflict arises in the night, the quiet is occasionally punctuated by the scraping of stone against stone.

Hours later, the group gradually awakens in total darkness, as both the rogue's sunrod and the wizard's spell has long expired. The chance to rest has done much for both Argumentus and Motsognir; the signs of fever have disappeared from their bodies. The paladin still suffers, but for the time it seems the disease is held in check.

While a new day holds a new hope of escape, the party's waterskins present a much more pressing problem. After a full day of fighting and a cold breakfast, little water is left. Without a source of clean water, you won't be going very far.

Everyone's HP/surges/daily powers restored to full. Gabriel begins the day with only 11 surges as a consequence of his continued infection. Also, I'm going to try to keep better track of who does and doesn't have light near them, so if you start whiffing over and over, you know why.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Zephyrin

Did I find anything sweet?

Searching with the practiced eye of a brigand, you rifle through the crates in the hope that the the fighter overlooked something. Folded beneath a heap of oily rags you find a gray linen cloak. When you unfold it, it begins to billow dramatically in the absence of any wind.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

There is a long silence, and then:

"You lot do love to flap your jaws, don't you? No wonder you're down here, somebody got tired of hearing you talk to yourselves all day.

Well, that's just fine. I'm tired of listening to your lips flap as well. Come and give it your best try, squawk-box. Soon nobody will have to listen to you anymore."

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