[Wii] Wii Fat

WHY FUT

Developer: Accolade
Publisher: Phoenix Games
Release date: It's out everywhere except America (19th)



This got thrown through my front window this morning with a death threat taped to it. "You will eventually die one day." I got so scared I had some breakfast to calm myself down. Bacon and eggs mixed in my bowl of chocolate cereal with nine tablespoons of sugar and banana custard as a suitable replacement for milk, good stuff.


INFERNAL IS ALL SET.

I've only put about an hour into it so far but ssh ssh, here's some text! It starts off with a talking Wii Balance Board demon thing asking you sexy questions like how tall you are etc. Then you do some basic 'stand up straight fgt, no you've got too much weight distributed on your left leg, you're doing it all wrong fuck salt'. Apparently my BMI is 10 more than it should be. That's a disaster. Not my BMI!

Then you set a goal of how much weight you want to lose and in what sort of time frame. I said I wanted to lose 5kg a week for lol and the talking Wii Balance Board had a cry saying that could kill me or something. You can choose from a male or female trainer after the initial set-up, I chose the one with the biggest tits. Awaaay you gooooo.

The games/exercises/e-Reader cards are broken up into different categories like muscle, balance, something.. something and so forth. I jumped straight into 'Wii Jogging' because it looked awesome from the videos. This one doesn't even actually use the Balance Board, you just jog on the spot with the Wii Remote in your pocket. It's the most pointless of all, really. You could just jog on the spot without spending $150.

Basically, your Mii jogs around this nice looking island, you've gotta try and keep a certain speed. Like a minute or so into it, the Mr. T Mii ran up beside me with this gigantic ANGRY expression on his face, then he ran past me and waved while smiling. It was awesome, I could barely keep up running because I was laughing too much. Some dogs ran past me eventually, followed by nuttyturnip's Mii looking frantic with an empty leesh. There seems to be a fair bit to keep you entertained on-screen, and you can unlock a whole load of different paths to take around the island.



Next up, uh, tight rope walking! I found this one pretty difficult, you've gotta take careful steps as you walk across to reach the next building. I was all nah let me run across BOM, BOM BOM BOM. Lean too far to one side and your Mii has a spaz. There's also these weird things that look like mousers from TMNT that you've gotta jump over.

There's also a marble rolling game where you tilt the board around with the power of your balance, this gets extremely difficult extremely fast. I only made it to level 4. Yay! Uuuummmm ooooh, skiing. You've gotta shift yourself left and right to get between the flags. I hope you eventually unlock much harder difficulties for this, because it was piss easy.



^^ People throw giant panda heads (?!) and shoes at you every now and then. But yeah, seems to be a lot to do in here. Most of the mini-games were still locked, you unlock stuff based on how much time you put into the game. The board itself is better than I thought it'd be, it's very precise. Also comes with extendo legs for those with carpet floors, because according to the manual it'll explode if the bottom of it so much as touches carpet. And it'll come back as a zombie and kill your friends and family after you're gone. I don't know how effective this thing's really going to be, but it's fun!



Wii Fuck hurf gurf (wow the trainers sort of remind me of Killer7)

DISCUSS?!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hahaha that'd be the best party ever. Yeah, the price is pretty retarded. I think places like JB Hi-Fi are SLASHING (SWISH SWOOSH) it to a mere... $120 for the first week or so.

Originally Posted by bag0k

why don't i come to gamingforce more often

YES, WHY DON'T YOU? >=(

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yoga always screws me over, because the trainer's all "WOW YOU'RE SHAKING A BIT" "WOW YOUR POSTURE IS GOOD" "WOW" "WOW" "WOW" every half a second and I always forget to reach for the mute button.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.