[Wii] Endless Ocean

Developer: Arika (Gardening Guide Urban Reflex Beat Down '96, Spinny Hat Revenge of City, Neo-Frogger EX)
Publisher: Nintendo (Sonic the Hedgehog, Zool, Jumping Flash)
Release date: out now (PAL/JPN) next week (Americanada)
Price: $30

Hooooooly shiiiiiit! Did you play either of the Everblue games on PS2? No? Neither did I! But this is apparently a sequel with a new exciting name. I'm a few hours into it, but this is honestly one of the most amazing experience.. things I've had in gam-man I don't even know where the hell I'm going with that retarded sentence. Endless Ocean is bloody amazing okay, and you should probably try it too! 'Non-game' has become a popular roll eye worthy term lately, what with Brain Training destroying the industry. Endless Ocean isn't quite a non-game, there's certainly gameplay to be had... but this isn't for the action gamer. Go play some Rock 'N' Roll Racing, because why not? It's a good game.

It may be shocking to learn, but Endless Ocean is a game that contains a lot of water. Most of the time you'll be in it. You scuba dive around like a rock star, pretty much chilling out. Oh sure, there's lots to do, but shut up old lady, and stop kicking me there! The game starts you off with the controls, which are extremely easy. Simply point the controller in whatever direction and away you go, holding the B trigger to casually swim around. Don't like the B trigger? That's cool, press button - and the game will put you in cruise control. Button 1 will bring up a map on screen in case you get lost "I was sure the ocean was around here somewhere.." aaaand the d-pad will bring up your bag of tricks. From here you can toss some food around, whip out your camera, or return to the boat.

Oh yeah, this game has a boat. Impressive eh? There's some woman that has an erection for you on the boat, she gives you tips and.. well, pushes on the story. I think there's a story. You can walk around the boat, because your main character has legs surprisingly enough. Point the cursor to move around, like an adventure game! From here you recieve new missions via the mobile phone, get your photos developed, change equipment, pet wild penguins on the head and other mystery beasts that rock up for no reason, blah blah blah. There's even a deck chair to sit on and admire the view, oooh ho hoooo!

YouTube Video

Wait, missions? You're sure doing a dreadful job explaining what the fuck this game is Infernal. I know, and I also talk to myself. Goons will leave you text messages, maybe wanting you to go find a certain fish and take a photo, or take someone on a tour, or even find stuff! Stuff is outstanding. I've really only scratched the surface of this game, but I was SO IMPRESSED TO THE NEW THREAD FACTORY. Endless Ocean is a beautiful game, which is good! Because it would sure be boring exploring a toilet. Arika have done an amazingly good job, the animation is especially striking. Fish zip about so fluidly. <3 The lighting is incredible too, this is seriously a game you need to see for yourself, there's no decent way of describing it without using lots of arty farty brain fluid leakin' out the nose words. It really doesn't help that Nintendo's done shit all to promote this game, hence basically no (decent) screens around. These off-screen YouTube videos are kinda pants too.

So you're dumped in an uncharted ocean, it's up to you to go explore every little section of it. You'll come across plenty of fish, which you get pet (yeah seriously) so they become your friends or whatever. Then you learn information about them! Uh oh, an educational game, head for the hills! They get recorded in your log book.. and there's.. forty pages of fish I haven't found.. yet. I've already come across some pretty great stuff, and I've only checked out a tiny section of the whole map. A SUNKEN SHIP!

YouTube Video

Whoever recorded this should have gone IN IT. >=(

You can become friends with Ecco the Dolphin too, it's part of the main story mode whatever, I've just spoiled the whole game for you. Once you befriend Ecco, you can teach him tricks. Like backflips! =D He'll even join you on dives if you want! It's pretty awesome. Oh man, so much to do. There's not much in the way of music so far (have to unlock most of it), but a few tracks by Hayley Westenra are in it. They suit the game really well. Luckily the game supports your own MP3s via the SD card. Bolded because it's sadly a pretty rare thing for Wii games.

YouTube Video

See? This guy's a legend, Perfect Dark music!

One of the first things the game tells you is to take it easy, nothing's rushed in this game. You can't even die (it takes like half an hour for your air supply to run out, and when that happens you simply zoom on back up to the boat). This is like throwing Oblivion underwater, then removing all the combat. And.. riding.. dolphins. Oh yeah, it's also got an online multiplayer mode, where two goons can simply fart around the ocean together, having a gay old time. Check it out if you're looking for something different. =)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Kilroy

Infernal, wanna swim together?

Come wiz Infernal as we dive into ze briny deep, searching for ze wily and elusive tits!

8668-5507-6683 =D

There's nowhere I can't reach.