[:plant:] Note to self: Write notes in the note section (General Discussion quality thread)

Do you guys remember video game instruction manuals? Do you? Do you remember things?! I think they still make them, but that may just be a rumour. This thread is about the NOTES section they contained, sometimes called MEMO! Did anyone ever seriously use them? Here are two examples of these so called instruction manuals, randomly plucked from a time when forced in-game tutorials didn't exist!



Oh, oh my. Sometimes these were very handy when a game didn't contain a car battery to save your progress and overly confusing developer cruelty joke passwords were needed. "You've reached level two, password: PINK CIRCLE, ANIMATED BAT, 8, CAN OF LEMONADE, PINK CIRCLE, BARKING DOG, PURPLE CIRCLE, HOUSE ON FIRE, 3, MOUTH ULCER" Or maybe, for like, Zelda, you could write down secrets about how Dodongo dislikes smoke. I rarely used them though. I'd just grab a piece of paper instead of walking over to the shelf, picking out the game, opening the box, digging out the manu-oh hell the next level has started now!

Some of these were huge, Kung Fu for example dedicates five pages. FIVE PAGES. The whole game is about trying to avoid enemies sneaking up behind you and shoving their hands up your arse (this causes your health to drop at a rapid rate). There's really not much to Kung Fu. What are you supposed to write in there?



I mean, this isn't even really accurate.

Do you have any amazing emotional stories to share regarding this very important thread about blank pages? Did you buy a second hand game one day, flick through the manual to discover someone had drawn a naked women that looked more like a can of peas than anything? Maybe it was just supposed to be a can of peas, and you're horrible for twisting it into something else. That could improve the purchase by AT LEAST 23%.



But why do new games bother? It's not the 1800's anymore. Nobody's going to write down important areas or such to visit, other than GameFAQs.com. Yeah they still sort of make sense for portable games due to the Wikipedia fact that a portable game is portable, but what if you carry your games around in a carrying case? You're stuffed. Forever. I mean, Excite Truck gives me two pages. It's a fucking arcade racer. "USE BOOST TO GO FASTER"? "TRY AND WIN THE RACES"? I think we should send a letter to these publishers and get them shut down for wasting paper. Thousands of letters.

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