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 Member 15 Level 45.57 Feb 2006 
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That sounds pretty awesome! Let me tell you about mine! My dream handheld is called Ballsaco. The advertising writes itself! "Hey Joe, what are you doin'?" "I'm playing with my Ballsaco!" "Okay" then twenty seven seconds of blank screen. Ballsaco would be just slightly bigger than an Xbox. The screen would be the exact same one found in the original Game Boy's, except it'd be on a spinny wheel. The wheel would turn while you play, to keep you alert! It'd be like playing two games at once! The speed it turns at is all connected to the game you're playing, via high tech silicon chips and so forth. So if you're playing level 1 of Tetris, the screen will move slowly. Everyone around you will laugh because they'll know you're playing Tetris like a wuss. The faster Tetris gets, the faster the screen turns!
It'd have eighteen face buttons, and thirty three shoulder buttons. Only four face buttons work though, with no markings on which is which. Also they constantly change. If you press the inactive ones, you'll get a tiny little electrical shock due to bad wiring. Again, more little innovations to keep the player excited! Every single shoulder button acts as the power switch, which is ALSO located right under the joystick. Don't let your thumb slip! Joystick? Well yes! D-pad's are so 1980's, joysticks are here and they are the future! It is the 00's and there is time for joystick. It's a very big joystick, with a pointed end and coated in exclusive mega quality Turtle Wax. Ballsaco would use the trusted cartridge media, being about the physical size of a Neo Geo game, but with a bit less memory space. 5kb in total. Even though it's using cartridges, they're so advanced that allowing battery backup through them would sap all the oxygen on the planet. So much like the PSP, you'll need to buy a memory stick. But I know they can be a bit pricey, so Ballsaco uses 3.5 inch floppy disks. You can find them at the dump now, that's FREE! Ballsaco runs off only one battery. A car battery. That'll get you a full three hours of game time! Even at full volume! It uses the same speakers found in other powerful devices such as Game & Watch and $3 FM radio picked up in strange shop at the end of Chinatown. No headphone jack is included, but you can send away for one. It's only an extra $49.95. Ballsac also includes a free game! None of this demo junk! You get a COMPLETE copy of Hang Man X: The Deading. Featuring crisp, clear stick men sprites and a pumping soundtrack of the same beep looping over and over. It's multiplayer if you let your friends play with your Ballsaco. They'll never want to put it down! Other games avaliable at launch include - Car Race - Jumping Fat Man - Virtual Dog Bath - Where's Walrus - Space Shoot: The Alien Revenge - Two Pin Bowling - Shadow The Hedgehog Brain Training  Jam it back in, in the dark.
Last edited by Infernal Monkey; Apr 13, 2007 at 04:41 AM.
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Infernal Monkey