Cellphones

I have excellent luck with mobile phones in that they never fucking work. I've owned a whopping four (that's more than three!) phones over the years, each one doesn't seem to bother letting whoever's trying to ring through. I'll get home and there's messages on the machine, "HAY BUH WHAT I TRIED TO CALL YOU BUT YOU'RE PHONE'S BUSTED". Don't let me near your phones, I'll break them with magic too.

I don't mind if people want to yell until they get a heart attack out in public though, it can be pretty entertaining.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW? HOW ABO-HELLO? ARE YOU THE-OH! HOW ABOUT NOW? HANG ON I'M GONNA STICK MY HEAD OUT THE WINDOW, HOW ABOoAUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHhhhh"

Jam it back in, in the dark.