Easy affection

I'm not very used to having peaople treating me nicely. What I mean nicely is in a thoughtful manner. Not like chatting with a smile on or sending birthday gifts, but more of things like asking what's wrong without you saying anything. In my family, we don't have too much contact with each other. Every night, upon arriving home, everybody would lock themselves into their rooms and only come out for a silent dinner at the table. I never really talk to my older sisters. I only have two older sisters as siblings, but we are too many years apart in age to discuss anything personal. They two are more close, so basically I act solo like an only child in the house. So there's never been any "I love you, sweetheart." "I love you too, Mom/Dad." in the house, and that makes me a little bit uneasy when dealing with other people's kindness.
I mean, I love kind acts. But any kind of those, no matter big or small, can make me develope affection toward that person, no matter boys or girls. And it happens VERY easily. Like listening to my troubles. Or asking me what's wrong without me mentioning that I was sick or feeling depressed. Or simply agreeing with me when I had a quarrel with my family. I think that perhaps I'm just seeking companionship, but to develope affection(even relationship thoughts) like that? I don't think it's healthy, and it causes pain within me. However, I can't help it! I even feel like crying when someone ask me about my condition.
I don't want to develope likings this easily. Please lend a hand.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Bolide

I'll say this though, I don't really have that close of a connection with my family either, except that I think it's more my fault then it being "everyone's" fault. I distance myself from them which causes me to feel like they're unable to relate to me. However, this mindset has not affected my day-to-day lifestyle and relationships with other people. I pretty much act natuarlly with everyone else except my family...who knows why...

My position in the family did not trouble me either until recently. My friends and I had some discussions on families and to me their families sound so amazing. They would hug their parents, they go out to have dinner with their older sisters, and they would play with their siblings. There is one girl who has a twin sister, and she explained how life is like being twins. They'd stand on the same line when fighting against their older brother and have dinner outside together after school. "And last week our parents weren't home, so we had to celebrate our birthday alone by the two of us, eating outside. Don't you think it's sad?" If their parents were home, her mom would cook and they'd have a small party with two big cakes. Then I remembered my birthdays- I'd buy a small cupcake and eat it silently in my room. My dad would give me some extra allowance, but that's about it. I suppose the word "alone" works differently for she and I. Whenever I see her happy face upon receiving text message on her cellphone from her twin, I would have a sober feeling rise within me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Our family stopped celebrating our birthdays once we graduate from elementary school. They think we're too old for those "Happy Birthday to You" songs around a cake now, I guess. My parents treat us kids equally, but my sisters are quite independent so they're fine.

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