Ever want to end it with a girl, but not sure how to explain why?

I've been dating a girl for a while and while I like her I'm starting to get to the point in my life where I want certain things personality-wise from a girl that she doesn't provide. I can't put my finger on exactly on it, but something is just missing. She is nice, pretty, but honestly I don't love her. I can say I love you on the phone and stuff casually, but if it was on a polygraph, the needle would be running wild.

There really is nothing wrong with her, I'm approaching my mid 20's and marriage will sooner or later start to creep into the picture. I don't want to continue a relationship with someone at this point in my life that I have no real shot as far as a future goes. All that side stuff to me is exactly that - side stuff. I want to be with someone that I can truly say I love and want to marry, and this girl is not that. Again, not her fault, but something is missing. I never felt that way and by now if I haven't then I'm not going to ever. I just don't look at her where I just feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I guess that feeling where you just feel happy around them and want to be around them at all times.

The only problem is I don't think I can just end a multi-year relationship by saying "I don't love you and I don't think I can continue." No matter what, the girl is going to take that as her fault or think of me as an asshole. I can't really think of an easy way to let her down and not just that, but an explanation as to why I want to end it. When you are with someone for a while, it is common courtesy to at least let them know why.

Anyone ever in a similar situation?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

3 years here, which isn't quite as long as your friend, but still long.

This actually sort of came to me recently. I had an epiphany about my future and when I'm going to need to start looking for that "right woman" and stuff like that. I asked myself if this is someone I could marry and I said no to myself. It may seem sudden, and we have a very good rapport, but like I said in the first post, there just is something missing. I don't look at her with the feeling that I love her and want to start a life with her and never want to be away from her.

Maybe I'll screw it up and maybe I'll never find a girl like that in my life. But I know that is what I want in my life and if I never find it, IMO there is no point of even marrying, because if you don't feel that way about someone, eventually it will fall apart one way or another. Eventually if I did find someone like that while I was already married then I'd be completely stuck.

I pretty much knew going in that there wasn't going to be an easier way, but then again a lot of things in life weren't supposed to be easy. Gonna have to just go with it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well I ended it and it did not go well, but I didn't expect it to. She was crying as expected, and as I comforted her, I thought there was a chance that I'd really start to have feelings open up that were hidden, but they never came. I mean I felt bad for her, but I didn't feel sad myself at all.

I also thought that given some time after I might really miss her too and regret it, but I don't. I mean, I can't deny that it feels weird, given that I was used to a certain lifestyle, but it isn't a downer feeling. I actually feel liberated. I could play basketball all day this weekend if I wanted to and not have to worry about any other plans.

I actually don't plan to get back in "the game" for a while either. Going to enjoy this freedom for a while before I enter the next phase. So I think I made the right decision.... or maybe I did love her and I'm just heartless and cold and will never love anyone.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I was actually just being facetious with the heartless and cold thing. We didn't really go deep into the whole friends thing, but I have no problem with it. Shes a nice girl, and I'm man enough to not want to start something back up again or get mad if she's with another guy.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Sure, I have no problem with it. She's fun to be around, and one quality that she really had going for her that was underrated was that she liked a lot of movies and TV shows that most girls don't like. She's into violent crime dramas, and stuff. So she was always easy to go to movies with and stuff.

I doubt she'll go for it though because it would probably be too awkward for her. Me, I have no problem with awkwardness for things like that.

I was speaking idiomatically.