Will I get expelled from University?

I have just be sent an e-mail telling me that due to my poor attendance this term I will be appearing before a standing academic committee to plead my case for being allowed to continue at university. While my attendance has been very poor this term, I do have an explanation, although as to whether it will be accepted is up to the committee, what do you think.

I accidentally got a girl from home pregnant, and so between that and taking her for the subsequent abortion regular attendance has been difficult. (I will flesh this out later).

I have an interview with the undergraduate tutor before I must stand before the committee so I plan to admit my mistakes and tell him the whole story and see what he thinks, but for now please let me know if you think that this is an acceptable excuse.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

In 'flesh out later' I mean I will put the detail in the post later, this is NOT made up, sorry I should have been clearer in my post. As for her wanting me to take her, she didn't want her family or boyfriend to know. I know in retrospect I should have acted differently but the thought of having to get married at the the age of 20, and the fact that I had to take her back to the hospital a few days after since she was bleeding quite a lot meant I wasn't really thinking my actions through as carefully as I should have been.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

She was with her boyfriend, but he's on the other side of the country at the moment and we were both drunk, plus I'm an idiot. She doesn't really have many trusted friends apart from me. I was aware that it might not be mine and if she had decided to keep it I would have gotten a paternity test before proposing, but still I'm not going to let one of my closest friends go for a surgical procedure that can be a very distressing thing (she's not the most emotionally stable person at the best of times) and then deal with it on her own. I would say that all in all I missed about three weeks of university due to these events, the main reason I have to go to the committee is because I missed a meeting with my tutor to explain my absences (computer troubles). I am aware how badly I have handled the situation.

Thanks for the support, although if I were a decent guy I wouldn't have had unprotected sex with a drunk girl who is in a relationship. As far as I am concerned the blame for what happened should be leveled squarely at me. My main plan for the committee is to tell them that I am aware that my attendance has not been satisfactory this term and that I am sorry, but my absences were due to a one-off personal problem that I would be prepared to explain if they wish. As I've said I have a meeting with my tutor lined up beforehand so I'll run this by him and see what he thinks.

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I assume you think that this was a mistake, as I presume she got an abortion...?

It was a mistake, however I am pro-choice and so I told her that what ever she chose to do I would support her 100%. Thankfully she chose to get an abortion because I really don't feel that I would be an adequate father.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Be sure to have some proof - just in case. I've never been in the situation, and I don't know how university inquiries go. Myself, out of ignorance, would treat it like a court case. Couldn't hurt. ^_^ (Responsibility and all that)

Any ideas as to what I could bring?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Was she having unprotected sex with her boyfriend too?

She told me she hadn't had unprotected sex with him for about 3 months, she was two months pregnant.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I know this is kind of off-topic, but I'm curious: How did her current boyfriend (or then boyfriend?) react? Does he even know??

She doesn't want him to know and I'm certainly not going to tell him.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Divest

How are your grades? Have you ever missed like this before? Prior to this whole thing, did you miss very much at all?

Currently I'm on track for a 2:2/2:1. I haven't missed much although I did miss some time last year due to my fathers death.

Originally Posted by Divest

And it's not too bad having sex with her, I mean, dude you can't take all the blame. She was willing to do it too. As for having unprotected sex, I mean, did you blow your load inside of her? If you did then yeah, that was pretty stupid, but if you didn't then you should have had a condom but mistakes are mistakes.

I pulled out but I probably didn't do the best job considering my level of inebriation. While I recognize that I can't take all the blame I still feel as guilty as hell.

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I'm genuinely curious here, how many people have attendance taken in their university classes? I have never had attendance taken at a university class. The profs generally don't care if you show up as long as you get the assignments in and do fine on the tests.

They take attendance at one of my lectures and at two of my seminars.

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Even more surprising is the uni never really contacted you before this?

They did contact me a week before this but the situation was still on-going and my computer was in the shop. In retrospect I should have been more attentive.

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Sure, if they bring it up, offer to provide them evidence, but don't go in there acting like no one will believe you and you need documentation to back up everything you said.

I will probably go with this as I can provide evidence, but don't wish to unless it is necessary because I don't want to grossly invade her privacy unless it is absolutely essential.

I have aslways had a good relationship with my tutors and have found them to be very empathetic people. They offered me a lot of support and understanding last year after my bereavement, I just hope I haven't used up all their good will.

I was speaking idiomatically.