If you had a friend that woke up from a 20 year coma, what first would you tell them?

If a friend of mine went into a coma twenty years ago, he probably would've been ten. I guess I'd have to be blunt but light-hearted.

"Rick, you're awake. Awesome. Look, I got some bad news for you. You're gonna look really fucking stupid when you go back to middle school. You'll probably want to shave first. But the good news is that I married your little sister! Huh? Oh right, right. It's me, Al!"

I think it's best to break them in slowly.



"Also, you'll wanna ditch the Def Leppard t-shirt. Seriously, that shit just ain't cool. I actually meant to tell you this twenty years ago, but, well, you know."

Jam it back in, in the dark.