If you moved...

There's really not much of note in my town anymore. Lockport, NY, is quickly becoming the Eastern-Great Lakes version of Flint, Michigan, complete with flailing, nearly derelict GM plants. All the interesting things we ever had went belly up and shipped out quite a while ago. Nowadays, Lockport is the place to be if you want draft beer, car parts, prescription medicine or mediocre pizza. We've got all that in spades. Culture? Hell naw.

If pressed to take one place, I'd probably take this little eatery called "One-Eyed Jack's." If you're into anything BBQ pork, they don't disappoint. Large portions, reasonable prices, shitloads of extra spicy BBQ sauce on demand. I doubt I could find a place like that in every town.

Depending on where I'm moving, a solid, alternate choice would be Tim Horton's. Not sure what's in their coffee - cocaine is my best guess - but it's a morning tradition for me now.

Jam it back in, in the dark.