The WHAT THE HELL SHIN in review

2000: Met a girl. Asked her out. Received harshest rejection in history of mankind. Slashed her tires. Now we're even.

2001: Met another girl. Wanted to bitchslap the motherloving hell out of her.

2002: Fucked that girl.

2003: Took girl to Maine. I enjoyed the scenery and visiting my extended family. She enjoyed playing Pokemon.

2004: Grandfather died. Mother died. Close friend died. Took girl to Hawaii to recover. I enjoyed the scenery and the food. She enjoyed playing Pokemon.

2005: Fucked the girl some more. Had nothing else to do.

2006: Sensed trouble when girl went to Spain without me. Pretty sure she had fun playing Pokemon there too.

2007: Dumped girl for becoming cold, emotionless and not very good at Pokemon, even after all that practice around the globe. Met another girl. Liked her a lot. Learned about BONESTEEL. Lucky to be alive.

2008: Continued ineffectual flirtation with third girl. Distracted BONESTEEL with media blitz. Second girl went to Japan...to play Pokemon in its homeland. Also got a lung upgrade but that's not important.

2009: Flirtations with third girl far more successful but BONESTEEL remains an obstacle despite identifying his weakness for stupid internet broads. Stopped talking to second girl altogether. Ran into first girl. She asked me out for coffee. Gave her harshest revenge rejection in history of mankind. Now we're truly even. Went home and played some Pokemon.

Jam it back in, in the dark.